Words of support or advice?

[alyssa410]

I know maybe no one will reply to this but I just want to get something off of my chest. It doesn’t matter if no one replies.

Recently I’ve been dealing with a lot. I’ve dealt with the death of one of my friends not even a year after the death of another one of my friends. Grief crowds me.

Also I’ve had financial issues due to the untimely sickness of my mother. She’s alright but she deals with insecurity, some depression and anxiety regarding her condition and also in general. Ive had to offer her support in her journey of insecurity and sadness, and I just feel like it takes so much from me. I’m so tired of all the baggage. I have my own emotional problems and I also take on hers and my dad’s.

I can’t finish this semester of school because the money has to go toward my mom. And I don’t care as long as she gets the help and medical care she needs but she blames herself for me not being able to go to school. I try to be her support system as much as I can because my dad doesn’t. I feel like I try to fill that gap for her but it’s never enough. It’s gotten to a point where I empathize with her so much it drains me and I try everything I can to make her happy. I even sometimes try to keep a distance from her so I won’t feel horrible just looking at how unhappy she is and hearing the things she says about herself. I just need a break. From everything.

I haven’t self harmed in a while but the weight of everything going on makes me feel like that’s the only hope I have at feeling better. I feel hopeless and I wish there were somewhere I could go other than here.

[Parkeranblood]

Alyssa, you have done the hardest task of your journey, you have reached out and asked for help. Now be brave make an appointment to see your GP and tell them how your feeling. ... it won’t fix you but it will help start that journey.

[Hidden]

Alyssa it may be your Mam needs to talk with Here GP if not already, When it comes to marriage, the Partner may have problems associating with mental health concerns and because of this it seems everything is tumbling down to you to give support. This can be hard work and can affect the life of a young carer.

Try and go with your Mam, you need to explain your needs, a double appointment is a good idea this will give the GP a chance to see the interaction between the both of you.

It will help to both of you if you draw up a lists

of your concerns

If there is a chance you may Self Harm, or you do cut contact the NHS Information Line Tel 111 and explain what you have done. Your health is important and that is the first thing you need to worry about.

BOB

[hypercat54]

Hi no one can give their all to anyone whether they are loved family members or not, otherwise you end up cracking up yourself and then you will be of no use to her. I know you love your mum but it's time to take a step backwards and look after your own health too. If you are happier in yourself then those around you are happier to.

Your mum is obviously feeling very guilty coz she thinks she is depriving her beloved child of her education and this must be a very heavy burden for her to bear. Make it easier by telling her that you can always complete your education later.

Assure her you are all right as you are young and will bounce back and that you love her and understand her needs. Don't forget she is an adult and does have her own coping strategies and the more you do for her the less she will do herself. x

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi alyssa410, I am sorry to hear things are so difficult for you. Other members on this caring community have posted some helpful advice. If you feel that you may harm yourself, please seek urgent medical help. Is there a member of the Pastoral Care team at your school, or another family member you could confide in? You do not say which country you are from, but if you live in the UK and are feeling distressed, the Samaritans are available 24/7 and provide a listening ear. Their number is 116 123 If you live outside of the UK, please see the Pinned Post section on the website where you will find a list of International Crisis Helplines.

Your health is important, so please do seek advice from your doctor and stay on this caring forum for help and support. Are any other members able to help alyssa410, please?

Thank you and best wishes

[Dessertmouse58]

Dearest Alyssa, your doing the best you can. Your only human. We are not super hero’s. You do care for your mom and she is better for it. You definitely need moral and emotional support yourself. Be good to you too.

[RealEyes]

Hi alyssa410

I've recently joined this community.

Much of what you shared on your post I can relate to. It is a tough spot you are in And, from my perspective, it is Important to take care of your self, first and foremost. Hard to do when it's the moms in our lives. I get that.

I like the idea some one said about the two of you going to see your GP together, if that is possible. + If you can receive some confidential counselling, it is my opinion that could be helpful for you and in your day to day life.

Self Care has helped me a lot and can be as simple as taking a walk outside once a day. Walking has really helped me ease the stress 'n daily tenseness along with helping me sleep better at night.

I'm glad you reached out on this community as i've found being on HU and its many communities has been very helpful in my life - in regards to finding helpful ways to cope with the stressful situations in my life.

take good care of your self alyssa410 and hope you feel a bit better with each day, r-e

[alyssa410]

Thank you all for your kind words of support! I took a break from on here after this post but I’m back now and I’m doing a little better and so is my mom, but it’s still rough. I didn’t self harm btw! Kind of proud of myself. I appreciate the support so much! I work everyday to become better!