Guilt

[Rose109]

Trigger warning - bullimia, alcohol, suicide

Hi,

Not posted in a while but I am currently on holiday with my boyfriend. My previous post was me just saying my mental health had taken a turn and I was in a dark place.

Last night we decided to make cocktails- which started off really fun. Then I got very drunk and very upset and alcohol always makes me feel a bit sick which for some reason makes me want to make myself sick so it all goes away.

I feel so guilty this morning as I barely remember last night except that I think he saw me crying after being in the toilet.

I wish I didn’t get like that all the time and feel like such a burden on people but everyone seems to want me to drink because it’s fun even when I say it’s not good for me. I’m worried about going back to uni next year with the drinking culture as I don’t really want to drink because of the fact it makes me feel so bad, even to the point of wanting to kill myself.

More of a rant than looking for help, does anyone else feel the same? Does anyone have any idea what may help me?

[Hidden]

You need to be firm with people who push you in a direction you wish not to go.

I drink on medications, I need to be very careful and I do it now under agreement with my old GP. I have not asked my Practice here.

You do not mention in above blog is you take medications. however you are still young and If I remember when young I had hollow legs, and would drink till I dropped when going to parties etc. All I can suggest is if you are going to drink pace yourself and know your limits. I am a Pensioner and now I have to be careful, medications have a marked effect, much worse than when younger, The same with drink. In fact strength is amplified

and now because of that I drink in a more circumspect manner

The same when young especially if you have changed medication will cause some unpleasant side affects and can catch you out.

Be careful, your friends and partners need to consider your reasons not to become legless. You also need to be more responsible for your actions as far as drink is concerned. Put your foot down, you do need to be careful. We all can be careful, that is part of growing up

BOB

[Rose109 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you very much for replying. I will be more firm with myself and take a step back with the drink I think

[Rose109]

I understand, thank you