Feeling very lonely, tired and stressed today the bankruptcy is taking its toll i keep on forgetting certain things , its been a nightmare getting the finance company to collect the car phoned them on the 7th and i had to chase them up yesterday its costing a fortune with phone bills, i feel empty inside and not been out the house since Saturday,
I just want to hide myself away.
The prospect off returning to work fills me with dread as there’s going to be questions about why ive been off work and why ive been banned from driving, it was because i took a overdose and had a fit at the wheel im lucky someone was in the car to stop it i feel ashamed and I cant get the thought out of my mind i could off killed someone I really do feel like im scum.
Took five overdoses this year, im lost and feel horrible about myself for what i have done.
The crisis team just tells me to go for a walk and distract myself but im struggling to keep myself safe the temptation to just take all my pills is constant i cant keep on putting my family though me going to hospital, had 2 over night stays at the mental health unit.
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Wanttobehapppy
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You are obviously going through a really difficult time right now, and we take everything you say very seriously. I would urge you to talk about your situation with your doctor or mental health professional e.g. CPN or psychiatrist, so they can help you through this. You will notice that I have added a Trigger Warning because you mention about taking overdoses ie. self-harming/suicide attempts, which may upset some vulnerable members, and allows them the option to not read your post. We understand that this may be a coping mechanism for you to relieve the emotional pain and distress that you are feeling inside, but it is unhelpful, and a destructive, disempowering cycle, and you need appropriate professional support to see that there are healthy alternatives and that you do have a choice, which in itself is empowering. Check out the information on some websites here:
I think that you coming on here and writing about how you feel is a big sign in itself that you want to get better and well done for being so strong and telling us about your past. That's not an easy thing to do at all.
Please don't feel bad about what's happened. It is now time to put it all in a cupboard (this is what I do with everything that has happened to me) and take some time out to work on yourself.
Do you have any hobbies or what do you like doing in your spare time? I find that spending some time every day doing something I enjoy really helps me to forget about everything - even for a little while - and after getting into a routine, helps me bit by bit to move slowly forward.
There is a great support network on here, all encouraging and helping each other to progress, so as Jaxs said, please don't feel alone.
I truly hope that you feel a little better today about everything and can find a way forward.
It's normal to feel like that after everything you're going through. You're only human give yourself a break. Please try to overcome the feelings of guilt and shame, what's done is done nothing you can do about that. However, what you do from this point going forward matters. You have the will to get better, it's clear otherwise you wouldn't have asked for help and that's a very brave thing to do. Now you can tackle each day at a time. As for going back to work just stop worrying about it. Hold your head high and try to focus on the tasks at hand. If you don't wanna explain your absence just don't. It's ok to tell people "actually I don't wanna talk about this. Tell me how are you instead" or something along these lines.
Take a minute and think what you wanna achieve going forward, focus on the future. Life's too short and precious.
Have you a partner or live in family member who can control the taking of your medication. In my case the Wife hides my medications and gives me the correct dose as and when required. I also take Opiates I need to vary the dose sometimes and my wife takes this into consideration.
If possible when you feel the need to be a lone you need diversions to keep your attitude positive, doing these activities will assist in removing negative thoughts and flusters. If you do feel negative thoughts are causing insular attitudes in your life, second best is interior hobbies. I look at picture books from my travels. I also like looking at guide book pictures
However when the day is sunny, you need to get out and boost your vit D4 this on its own will help you retain a positive outlook, you do not need to be with people
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01:09am....
Mute. ‘ Trigger Warning’
i dont know anymore
**Trigger warning** Every Single Day....
