Emotional day

[Stillfightin]

Hi there,

I met up with my Mum for the first time in 3 years yesterday. I had the support of a mental health worker and family worker. I was sectioned 6 times within 2 years of this time and she didn't come to see me. I wanted to go down the path of forgiveness though, so I invited her back into my life. I'm feeling very emotional today, teary and upset. I just wanted to talk to someone about it.

Thanks xxx

[PNIAuthor60]

How did it go? Does she want to reconnect as well?

[Stillfightin in reply to PNIAuthor60]

Hi there,

Thanks for your message 😊

It went better than I thought, thanks. She came with thoughtful gifts and geniually listened. Yes, she wants to reconnect as well. I gave my perspective, but she also gave hers. As I didn't trust the staff, due to being pinned down, injected etc. I didn't want them talking to my parents about me. She took me not allowing her to have access of information about me as a rejection and that I didn't want her there. Obviously I didn't know this. So I can understand her point of view. Although if it was my child, nothing would stop me coming to her. But I'm able to understand that we're not all the same and love her for who she is, not who I want her to be. There's still a lot of anger inside me though about it, I suppose I have to grieve for the mother I'll never have.

[PNIAuthor60 in reply to Stillfightin]

I am happy for both of you. Neither of you can change the past but your mutual willingness to listen and try to understand the other's perspective has the potential to create a new and healthier relationship in the present and subsequently the future.

There will be bumps in the road of course as in every relationship but you are off to a good start.

Treasure what's new and allow it to transform/reframe what was. Keep an open mind and heart as best as you can and enjoy the blessings of this renewed connection!!

[Stillfightin in reply to PNIAuthor60]

Thank you, such great advice 😊 appreciate your response loads 😍 thank you xxx

[hypercat54]

Didn't come to see you at all? That's not good. Mine didn't either when I was in hospital and she was quite toxic so I distanced myself quite a lot from her.

If it feels ok to have your mother back in your life then see how it goes. If however she is not supportive or runs you down etc. then maybe you need to reconsider? x

[Stillfightin in reply to hypercat54]

No, not at all. Bless you, I only know how horrible it is. You wait each day for them to turn up, seeing others with family and friends. It was even more difficult not having any support when I got out of hospital as I hardly slept in hospital. So getting to the shops, eating etc was so difficult and I'd spiral into ill health again as I'd no time to rest and heal. Thankfully I've been over a year with no admissions now, due to my ex coming to support me when I got out and moving away from toxic neighbours.

Yes, you're completely right. I will make sure I keep an eye on whether her being in my life is beneficial or not. It's early days.

Good on you for removing that toxicity. That must of been hard. Hope you're keeping better now.

Thanks for your message 😊