I recently stopped a long-term mentorship/friendship I had. This relationship had its ups and downs and there was a point I felt like all I was doing was complying and not understanding the instructions given. I felt like the emotions from my mentor that came with my negative actions were too much and I felt a deep resentment inside. In personal relationships it's normal to feel hurt and I had my negative actions towards them as well. But as my parents were hard on me, though my friend loved me, all I could feel was the threatening condemnation my parents gave me(my psychological trigger) for some reason I can handle work relationships really well, but personal friendships have gone down the drain for me. I use, I'm irresponsible, I'm careless, I don't give, I don't feel love, it's a mess. Now I just desire to be alone, is that normal? I feel very much alone with no family( abusive situation, but God set me free with help from my mentor) or friends, but I don't find myself wanting anything touchy or others emotions in my deepest insecurities.( just calmness and someone who understands, no nagging/ fixinf. I just want to focus on my journey in my mental health.