In-laws making me anxious!! Help!

[valskies805]

Ok so here it goes.. I’ve been living with my in-laws for the past 2 years. (Financial issues) through these 2 years I developed anxiety and depression.. and I believe through some stuff in the past as well. But for these past 2 years I’ve had some clashes with my father In law which lead to now I can’t be around him for too long before I start feeling really uncomfortable and go lock myself in my room. And my mother-in-law wants to

Control everything from what detergents I use and how I feed my son. She has good intentions I know it but it can be overwhelming when she even wants to tell me what to wear to church. When I say no to soda to my toddler he runs to grandpa and grandpa

will say yes. It’s frustrating!!!! My sister in law lives on her own but she’s over EVERY DAY! She won’t knock to come in our room (when it’s unlocked) , just opens the door and lets herself in just to say hi to our toddler, some days it will be 8:30am and we’ll still be in bed she doesn’t care. My husband has talked to them but it goes in one ear out the other. To top it off we have a family business. Can you imagine working AND living with his family?? 😭 today’s my father in laws birthday my brother-in-law is in town from out of state with his girlfriend as well. is it bad I don’t want to help set up for the bbq? Is it bad I rather leave the house for the day and be out with my son instead of being in the middle of all the commotion and stress of getting things ready? Is it bad I don’t want to be part of the family bbq if I spend every day with them?? They all left to breakfast and asked me to prep some stuff for the bbq I politely said “I won’t be home today” I got a weird look.. Help! Am I being dramatic? I just got a job and hopefully it will be a little help for us to look for a small place. My husband is completely understanding and supportive and understands how I feel. I just want to be in our room all day feeling down. I just can’t do this anymore.. has anyone else gone through this?

[Hidden]

I had controlling in laws - I eventually divorced and haven't looked back!

[partom]

Sounds really challenging, I would really struggle spending that much time with the in-laws as well, it sounds like a very normal way to feel given the circumstances. It’s good that you are being proactive in saving to get your own place, I hope it doesn’t take too long. Look after yourself in the meantime. All the best, Tom.

[Hidden]

You need to move on with child and hubbie been stuck with in-laws or even just family in the same house day after day would have driven me daft if that had been my lot after marriage.

Do you work, if so that would get you out of the house for a time and in turn that would lift your mood.

Financial problems can be a real problem especially when you need to have your own home so the three of you can make a family and move on without any interference.

When in my teens living at home was a real problem I had two sisters a lot younger than me, they would use me as an example even though there was ten years difference in age between me and the eldest, this caused friction, even though I was an adult.

I do not know what the situation is regards first homes, flats etc in the States, what I do know you need to get out where you are now and move on with your lives. Until you do that you are at the beck and call of others who will over time have an axe to grind regards attitude and the fact they have a house overfilled and possibly they also need peace from you three

Somewhere to stay where you can act as a family is the best way forward, although yes you may have problems achieving that at this time

BOB

[sweetiepye]

I wouldn't have been able to live with my in-laws for two years. They were good people, they raised my husband, and they were my children's family so it was in all of our interests to get along and respect each other That being said, I would have lived in one room before I would have moved in with them. It's not healthy for you , your husband , or your child . You can see he's already confused by who is in charge.You owe your in-laws respect , what would you have done without them ?I know getting your own place can be expensive with first and last months rent and sometimes security deposits. May be your in-laws could help you with that. They would probably like their home back. You could be looking at other options such as low income housing. Pam

[Hidden]

I split up with my daughter's dad 20 years ago, just hearing someone talk about her, triggers my anxiety, If the day had ever come that I had to live with her, I just wouldn't have been able to. I sympathize with you, there is nothing worse than having to be civil and polite to someone you can't stand, just reading your post made my stomach knot

[valskies805 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, it’s hard but I have to push forward, my husband is so comforting and reassures me just a little longer and we’ll be out of here ❤️