I have decided to recover.

[sliverofsilver]

Dear friends,

I’ve decided to recover from anorexia.

I didn’t want to before, but seeing my friends today made me realise just how much this evil illness is making me miss out on.

I was about to be admitted, put into hospital this very afternoon. I was going to be put on a drip. Tube-fed. And it was going to begin today. But then before that, right before, I saw my friends. I was allowed into school just to see them. And as soon as I walked in the door, a crowd of people gathered around me, saying my name, expressing how happy they were to see me. And over half of them don’t even know I have anorexia. They just thought I was physically ill for ages.

After talking with my school counsellor today, I’ve realised what I’m missing out on. There won’t be anything for the teachers to assess me on for my report. There’ll be inside jokes that I won’t know about. There’ll be outings, fun trips, that I can’t go on. I’ll be stuck with anorexia, the evil that drives my every action. Anorexia is just slow suicide. And that’s not what I want anymore.

Maybe in a few months, maybe a year, maybe a decade, I’ll be recovered. And I can dance and leap and twirl ribbons again. I can run at sports day and win at netball. I can swim and be confident again. I can go out with friends and enjoy a burger (as terrifying as that seems) without purging and exercising and beating myself up afterwards. I can do ballet and gymnastics without passing out. I can do anything.

Sure, right now, all of me is screaming at me not to eat the cucumber slice in front of me. But wait. I just ate it. Yep. The first thing inside me for ages. I did it. From now, I’m going to recover. Please, if you can, support me with this and remind me of why I chose this path when I grow doubtful.

-sliverofsilver

[PrimoB]

Congratulations on the cucumber. What an amazing first step and your whole attitude about getting back and not missing out on things is extremely brave. I truly hope you can get back to doing the things that make you happy. I believe in you!!!

[Hidden]

Good on you, I hope all goes well for you..

Xxx

[MAS_Nurse]

Good for you sliverofsilver. Perhaps as you are in a good place now, this maybe the right time for you to write down why you want to do this. Put down (as you have done in the post) all the things that you will be able to accomplish. Then pin it up where you can see it all the time. That will help to give you the will to succeed.

Outings, fun trips, out, a burger or milk shake with your friends.

Dancing and gymnastics, netball, and swimming.

We are all routing for YOU, and you can do this, even a small step will be a victory over this horrible thing that's trying to hold you back.

All the very best of luck,

MAS Nurse and Moderator.

[Hidden]

Wonderful news !!

I’m so pleased for you. The realisation of all the things you will miss is so good..there is so much fun you can have with friends..so many lovely memories to make, maybe eventually trips to go on...

Every good wish 🌺🌺🌺

[hypercat54]

Oh silver I am so pleased for you sweetheart. I am delighted you have chosen life over a slow and painful death. Make a list of your reasons to live and make this your mantra. Keep it in front of you and remember how you feel right now - positive and energised.

You can do this and we are behind you all the way. Big gentle hugs xx

[Hidden]

I admire your positivity. Never lose it!!

[Stilltrying_]

I'm behind you all the way and cheering you on sliverofsilver xx