Gut churning anxiety

[TheSufferingOnes]

I'm a 62 year old male and I've suffered from severe social and generalised anxiety all my life. Right now I'm extremely worried about my close friend who is 94 and has suffered 2 falls in 2 days. I've been his live in carer for 2 years now as he has dementia and is adamant he doesn't want to go into a care home.The current situation has triggered off my anxiety big time. I feel extremely nauseous every single waking moment and at night I lie awake and my breathing is shallow and irregular (no full blown panic attacks though). I've lost my appetite too. Everything suddenly feels unfamiliar and scary and I'm absolutely dreading the future without my dear friend.

Meditation is useless as I can't get rid of the scary thoughts and intense emotions in order to relax enough. I feel like I'll never be happy again. No one can have any real understanding of my situation and I feel like I've suddenly been plunged into a nightmare. I'm not as self-centered as I may sound. It's just that the bad thoughts and the physical symptoms are so completely overwhelming.

In short, my life is just a waking nightmare.

[shanayd]

I’m sorry to hear about your friend..hope you are both doing well.

Could you possibly get help for the both of you, then everything isn’t on you which could lift a weight.

Or you two could be the rebels together, you never know it could be the best decision in this current situation as it could help you concern your anxiety in a way

When you start thinking about the bad things, stop and tell yourself you’ve got through.

Live for the moment, not the past or future the NOW

Life is for living, & you two I’m sure have some beautiful amazing memories

Use this pain to build your self back up, from this post I can tell your a caring individual. Not many can say they have done what you’ve done or would even do what you’ve done

Wishing you all the best. XOX

[TheSufferingOnes in reply to shanayd]

Hi. It's true that I spend most of my time dwelling on the past or dreading the future. I really need to spend more time in the NOW. My friend has carers who call in a few times every day and a personal alarm he can press if he's alone in the house and has a fall, so it isn't all bad I guess.

Thank you for your reply.🙂

[Keeplooking]

Hi, you two. I am so sorry you are in this horrid situation. I know how hard it is for you as I too had this "gut churning" anxiety which never eased. It kept me awake for nights on end during which the ruminations & negative, harmful thoughts got worse. I know exactly how it's affecting you.Anxiety & depression are toxic partners. One feeds off the other.

You don't say who is looking after YOU, my dear... ? Please see your GP..

The crux of it is that you must tell yourself life will improve even if you don't believe at first. I was fortunate my daughters told me this constantly & they were so confident that eventually things did improve.

Look after yourself dear friend as you care for YOUR dear friend.

Your own light is blinding...it will shine again. Blessings to you both

[TheSufferingOnes in reply to Keeplooking]

I will see my GP and thank you for your reply.🙂

[sunsetred]

You must get help. Go to your GP to see if you can get some counselling and or antidepressants. There are lots of strategies that CBT can advise you of. I found both helped when my daughter died unexpectedly. Have you friends and family that you can talk to?

[TheSufferingOnes in reply to sunsetred]

There isn't anyone I can talk to, but I will see the doctor about it.Thanks for your reply.🙂

[Anne789 in reply to TheSufferingOnes]

You can talk to us!! anytime, just let it all out. Then take it in tiny chunks at a time. At the moment it may be overwhelming you as you have you own mental health to look after. Seek help for yourself first, then you will be in a better space to find help for your friend.

I urge you to find some of his family members if possible to help you with it all & citz. advice if you have one close to you. Good luck.

[TheSufferingOnes in reply to Anne789]

Ok. Thanks.🙂

[reg01]

I have suffered generalised anxiety and nothing really helped until I got myself prescribed with Pregabalin. It changed my life and now I don’t suffer with GA at all. I take it alongside paroxetine. Also, with the meditation, have you tried a repetitive chant to keep out the bad thoughts. It works but you need to do for at least 15 mins per day. Whatever memorable chant suits you. You’ll find that, with time and patience, it works. Also, with the chant, if you use it anytime whatever you’re doing, when you feel the worries coming on, it helps to control the problem all the time.

Wishing you well xx

[TheSufferingOnes in reply to reg01]

I may give meditation/chanting a go sometime.🙂I actually take Pregabalin for ibs pain, but it didn't do anything for my anxiety unfortunately. 😔Thanks for your reply.🙂

[TheSufferingOnes]

Hello. I really ought to practice present moment awareness more often as in the past I have found it very helpful. I'll check out Ongo Care too.

Thank you for your reply.

[sunsetred]

I have been using metacognitive therapy techniques lately. If negative thoughts enter your head do not engage with them let them come and go. I find saying 'no comment' or 'i am not having this conversation at the moment' helps. Then focus on what you are doing at the present moment. Or think of your thought as a suitcase on a conveyer belt you are watching it but doing nothing. I think these work better than distraction techniques ie concentrating on breathing.

[TheSufferingOnes in reply to sunsetred]

Thanks. I'll give that a go.🙂