Mental Health Support

30,559 members • 16,710 posts

Gut churning anxiety

2 months ago•14 Replies

I'm a 62 year old male and I've suffered from severe social and generalised anxiety all my life. Right now I'm extremely worried about my close friend who is 94 and has suffered 2 falls in 2 days. I've been his live in carer for 2 years now as he has dementia and is adamant he doesn't want to go into a care home.The current situation has triggered off my anxiety big time. I feel extremely nauseous every single waking moment and at night I lie awake and my breathing is shallow and irregular (no full blown panic attacks though). I've lost my appetite too. Everything suddenly feels unfamiliar and scary and I'm absolutely dreading the future without my dear friend.

Meditation is useless as I can't get rid of the scary thoughts and intense emotions in order to relax enough. I feel like I'll never be happy again. No one can have any real understanding of my situation and I feel like I've suddenly been plunged into a nightmare. I'm not as self-centered as I may sound. It's just that the bad thoughts and the physical symptoms are so completely overwhelming.

In short, my life is just a waking nightmare.

Written by

TheSufferingOnes

To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .

14 Replies

•

shanayd2 months ago

I’m sorry to hear about your friend..hope you are both doing well.

Could you possibly get help for the both of you, then everything isn’t on you which could lift a weight.

Or you two could be the rebels together, you never know it could be the best decision in this current situation as it could help you concern your anxiety in a way

When you start thinking about the bad things, stop and tell yourself you’ve got through.

Live for the moment, not the past or future the NOW

Life is for living, & you two I’m sure have some beautiful amazing memories

Use this pain to build your self back up, from this post I can tell your a caring individual. Not many can say they have done what you’ve done or would even do what you’ve done

Wishing you all the best. XOX

TheSufferingOnes in reply to shanayd2 months ago

Hi. It's true that I spend most of my time dwelling on the past or dreading the future. I really need to spend more time in the NOW. My friend has carers who call in a few times every day and a personal alarm he can press if he's alone in the house and has a fall, so it isn't all bad I guess.

Thank you for your reply.🙂

Keeplooking2 months ago

Hi, you two. I am so sorry you are in this horrid situation. I know how hard it is for you as I too had this "gut churning" anxiety which never eased. It kept me awake for nights on end during which the ruminations & negative, harmful thoughts got worse. I know exactly how it's affecting you.Anxiety & depression are toxic partners. One feeds off the other.

You don't say who is looking after YOU, my dear... ? Please see your GP..

The crux of it is that you must tell yourself life will improve even if you don't believe at first. I was fortunate my daughters told me this constantly & they were so confident that eventually things did improve.

Look after yourself dear friend as you care for YOUR dear friend.

Your own light is blinding...it will shine again. Blessings to you both

TheSufferingOnes in reply to Keeplooking2 months ago

I will see my GP and thank you for your reply.🙂

sunsetred2 months ago

You must get help. Go to your GP to see if you can get some counselling and or antidepressants. There are lots of strategies that CBT can advise you of. I found both helped when my daughter died unexpectedly. Have you friends and family that you can talk to?

TheSufferingOnes in reply to sunsetred2 months ago

There isn't anyone I can talk to, but I will see the doctor about it.Thanks for your reply.🙂

Anne789 in reply to TheSufferingOnes2 months ago

You can talk to us!! anytime, just let it all out. Then take it in tiny chunks at a time. At the moment it may be overwhelming you as you have you own mental health to look after. Seek help for yourself first, then you will be in a better space to find help for your friend.

I urge you to find some of his family members if possible to help you with it all & citz. advice if you have one close to you. Good luck.

TheSufferingOnes in reply to Anne7892 months ago

Ok. Thanks.🙂

reg012 months ago

I have suffered generalised anxiety and nothing really helped until I got myself prescribed with Pregabalin. It changed my life and now I don’t suffer with GA at all. I take it alongside paroxetine. Also, with the meditation, have you tried a repetitive chant to keep out the bad thoughts. It works but you need to do for at least 15 mins per day. Whatever memorable chant suits you. You’ll find that, with time and patience, it works. Also, with the chant, if you use it anytime whatever you’re doing, when you feel the worries coming on, it helps to control the problem all the time.

Wishing you well xx

TheSufferingOnes in reply to reg012 months ago

I may give meditation/chanting a go sometime.🙂I actually take Pregabalin for ibs pain, but it didn't do anything for my anxiety unfortunately. 😔Thanks for your reply.🙂

FelizaBrunt2 months ago

I am sorry to hear about your health issues and your friend too.

There are, some things you can do to ease your social anxiety. Initially, I suggest you talk to someone who can understand your condition. It can be really helpful to talk to someone who knows what you're going through. This can help you feel less alone and can give you some insight into how to cope. Also, you can stay in the present. One of the worst things about social anxiety is the anxious thoughts about what could happen. Instead of worrying about the future, focus on the here and now. This can help you stay calm at the moment. If medication doesn't overcome your scary thoughts as you already told, It means your social anxiety is interfering with your life. So it may be time to seek professional help. A therapist can help you understand and manage your anxiety. Many platforms provide better evaluations and prescriptions these days. I use Ongo Care, a telehealth platform for my bipolar disorder. They have certified healthcare professionals, that can really understand your health condition and prescribe medication accordingly.

TheSufferingOnes2 months ago

Hello. I really ought to practice present moment awareness more often as in the past I have found it very helpful. I'll check out Ongo Care too.

Thank you for your reply.

sunsetred6 days ago

I have been using metacognitive therapy techniques lately. If negative thoughts enter your head do not engage with them let them come and go. I find saying 'no comment' or 'i am not having this conversation at the moment' helps. Then focus on what you are doing at the present moment. Or think of your thought as a suitcase on a conveyer belt you are watching it but doing nothing. I think these work better than distraction techniques ie concentrating on breathing.

TheSufferingOnes in reply to sunsetred5 days ago

Thanks. I'll give that a go.🙂