Another day

[Jobug]

I started out today feeling like crying. It is my 6th day in a row of migraines. It's been months since I've had this many on a row. I usually get depressed by the second day. The only thing keeping my sanity together is therapy and these online support groups.

Yesterday I was starting to feel a little down about my migraine, but really, what can you do...get more upset? That just makes it worse. So this morning I got up and knew today would be my sixth day and I was asked a question by a family member and when I couldn't think of how to answer or of what words to say (because migraine brain does that), my response was--"I can't answer that, I have a migraine and I just want to cry."

Sadly, people who haven't had migraines or haven't been around migraineurs simply don't understand what it's like to suffer with it and say weird things.

Ie: When I was applying for disability, I wanted to list migraines as one of my diagnoses. The person helping me fill out the form said, "um no let's not do that. I've never heard of someone having a migraine for weeks." My jaw dropped. But I let it go. I had plenty of other diagnoses to list. The fact is, WE DO have migraines for weeks. Sometimes months.

So I went to the chiropractor this morning. I had temporary relief from the pain. My neck was horribly out. Having to travel 45 minutes to my therapy appt, one way brought the migraine back. I really really needed to talk through some junk though, so I went to my appt.

I thought about going to what I call the "migraine ER" after my therapy appt, but let me tell you, after one and a half hrs in the car, I was done. Full on migraine from bumpy roads. Not going in the car again for a 2 hour round trip (in another city) to *try* and rid of this migraine.

Will go to M. ER tomorrow if this evil doesn't leave overnight.

So my EMDR sessions are done for the time being. I'm in DBT group therapy to better my life and learn tools to cope. I think it's working, considering I haven't been in a huge depressive mode for a week or so. It takes a lot of mental work...discipline.

Could be why I have a migraine 😂😉

Oh my goodness...totally just kidding.

I do analyze my life and relationships too much--trying to figure out how I could do better and be better. At least I've learned some good stuff. I will not judge myself. Not my thoughts, not my feelings. I recognize them and acknowledge them and then let them go. I also will continue to put on my boundaries...(learning what this means still) voicing my needs as well and sticking by them. Ignoring the reactions of others in response to these because I need to be heard and not ignored...for once in my life.

Everyone say to yourself (if it helps you)--

I deserve good things

Things will get better

Things may be hard today, but tomorrow can be better

I am strong

I am confident

My mind is healing

I am important

My voice is important

My pain will diminish

I am loved