Help a friend who might be depressed

[Random163]

I have a friend that’s close to me who’s been going through a hard time she thinks that she is depressed. She is always stressed about something, usually about school or work. She will message me saying she’s crying again and says, “I don’t want to be here anymore” and I’m worried about her. I try to calm her down and talk about what’s been going on. But I just don’t know how to help her. Lately she’s been more distant, not just with me but with other people. It seems to be getting worse. I’ve told her she should go see a doctor or talk to her parents about it. But she said that she doesn’t have a doctor right now and her parents don’t care about her. I want to help her or get her help but I don’t know how to do that. Any suggestions?

[BlueSky125]

She has to decide that she wants to get help, there is only so much you can do. I would continue to encourage her to see a doctor. You mentioned that she’s in school, they may have counselors that she could talk to. That could be a starting point.

[Smudge2522]

I agree with blue sky keep encouraging her to go see the doctor but as you’ve mentioned she’s at school or work then there may be a counsellor referral scheme so it’ll be someone she can contact and speak, some people find it easier opening up to someone they don’t know (I know I’ve found it easier talking to my counsellor than friends/family). But ultimately it’s her choice if she seeks help or not you can’t force her to go and I think there’s a fine line to tread as you don’t want her to push away from you if you constantly go on about her seeking help if she’s not ready. Telling her that you’re on hand to support her in whatever way she wants (e.g a friend to talk to, someone to just be around, someone to go with her to applied she chooses that route) but try not to get frustrated with her, or take things she says/does which are aimed at you too personally because if it is depression (ideally needs to be diagnosed by a professional rather than doing a google search - which believe will usually lead to worst case scenario) she could be in a very “dark” place and lashing out due to this rather than how she truly wants to. You sound like a really good friend to have and I hope you are also taking time out for yourself as well. Good luck with everything and I hope your friend seeks the help she potentially needs x

[nk1820]

Have you asked her what you can do to help? You are a good and faithful friend to care and seek help.

[Random163 in reply to nk1820]

Yeah I have asked but she will either ignore it or say I’ve helped enough. But I just feel like I haven’t actually done anything she’s just trying to make me feel better about it.

[nk1820]

You are a good friend. Standby your friend. It’s a hard road.

[becominghuman]

You’re a good friend, don’t forget that.

She needs to get medical help. Depression is a mental illness which needs treatment. Not a period of sadness.