Bipolar? Hormones? Severe anxiety and panic - debilitating.

[Jann3]

Anyone diagnosed with bipolar. I’ve been struggling with severe anxiety and panic and depression for years. Traumatic childhood is where it began. As for bipolar I had a Paxil induced manic episode 14 years ago and one awful manic episode last year. Now I’m left hopeless as meds and combo of meds are not working. I did dbt therapy and I’m so panicked and scared all the time and the physical symptoms, sick to my stomach, difficulty eating and IBS make it debilitating. I’ve spent more time in bed this last year and not sleeping but tossing and turning. As soon as I open my eyes the panic begins. I desperate for help. I cannot go on like this.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi Jann,

Welcome to this community, where I am sure you will find many folks on here who have BPD, and will empathise with your struggles and experiences. I can't imagine how you must feel, but I can sense your frustration and sense of hopelessness. I would urge you to speak to you GP and local mental health team to help you, as really they are the ones best placed to help you professionally.

In the meantime, do check out our Pinned posts section which has helpful links to our free, downloadable mental guides and keep handy our international crisis support lines.

This is a great community and a good place to find peer-to-peer support, so keep in touch.

OK folks please come alongside this new member and introduce yourselves.

Take care,

MAS Nurse

[ladeda]

Hi jann, sorry you are trapped in your anxiety and so in need of help, get that appointment with your GP to start with, ask for a blood test if it's not automatically offered and see what your potassium and vitamin D levels are as these have big effects on not just mood but sleep patterns as well and they can easily be put right, the other problems will take time and you need support to build the strength you need, its out there hun, but you unfortunately have to make the first move to try something new. Help sometimes comes from the most unexpected places, a few years back I couldn't leave my house and a neighbour with a dog said she would knock for me to come for a short walk each day, it turned my life around, not only did I make a good friend I got over so much fear and now go everywhere by myself without a thought of how I used to be. I honestly never thought it would have been possible back then.

There are many support groups cropping up everywhere now and I hope your GP is able to help direct you, but also try your local council for what voluntary organizations are near you, as it could help if a volunteer came round and helped you get out more.

Maybe try hard to think of some new hobbies as they are so good at silencing the mind, there is so many demonstrations on YouTube to do just about anything, something new might take your fancy?

I wish it was easy to have quick fixes, but sadly it takes a lot of work, but we really can overcome some of the biggest hurdles and end up so strong because of the fight we have inside of us.

Please keep being brave and shouting for help until your able to find the right people that you can best relate to.

Lots of hugs. Moni x

[Hidden]

Jann

If you are Bi-polar it is important you talk to your GP if you are feeling worse than you were before, possibly a treatment plan may help you control this condition with the help of further medications. Coping techniques may also be useful

Make an appointment with your GP a double session should help. Make a list of your concerns so you get more out of this session

We are here if needed

BOB

[Jann3]

Thank you to those who responded. I’ve been to my GP, my psychiatrist, mood disorder clinic, specialists and they are all at their wits end with me. My psychiatrist said I don’t know if I can help you, everything we try doesn’t work. I haven’t found the right support and meds make me feel worst. And I’ve tried many. I’m barely getting by. I don’t feel supported by family or friends. I feel alone and scared daily. I don’t know what else to try. I have two beautiful daughters and I’ve missed out on so much because of my health. My girls are 8 and 3. Now the one of to school for the first time, I’ve missed years with her because of this. It breaks my heart. I have such guilt and shame for not being a better mommy, wife, friend, etc. It’s hard for me to make decisions and I get quite overwhelmed with the smallest tasks. For example, sorting their new clothes for school, washing them up and finding spots for them since their drawers are full. And as soon as I leave my bedroom I see the whirlwind of clutter that’s accumulated because of me. I panic and shake in the mornings and feel sick to the stomach with panic and anxiety all day long into the evening. Just dropping my girls off all day picking them up is a feat for me. I feel I’ve failed them this summer with hardly any fun activities. It’s just me and my girls in the day and so very hard to leave the house. Even to simply folllw a recipe and bake with them I cannot do. And I’ll never have that time back. Such a sad summer and I’m choked with guilt.

[Hidden]

Jann

You mention you have tried all medications and non have worked.

These types of medications need time to work, it will take upwards of five or six weeks for the tablets to show a possible improvement.

Many sufferers expect an instant buzz with the drug they take and what happens when you find all you are getting is side effects with no sign in any changes of mood. The Patient then makes an appointment to see their GP, and explains the drug is not working. The GP then supplies a new medication to try. Health Professionals then scratch off that drug from the list of drugs tried and move you onto a new medication. When this goes on through an extended period they run out of alternative medications and the patient has tried because of side effects etc and run out of choices. Types and variations of medications are not never ending. Hence they become stuck on what to do.

Technically you may have come of the drugs that would have worked by not accepting some problems in the early days. Personally I do not know what to suggest, you are in the hands of good intentions that have not possibly been fully explored.

If above is correct talk to your Health Professional, remembering all sufferers do have varying side effects, and everyone is different as far as medications are concerned

BOB

[Jann3 in reply to Hidden]

Bob we made sure to give the meds min 6-8 weeks. For instance lithium I started in March and weened off at end of June. Made me feel worst. Thank you for replying.

[KarenG194]

Hi Jann

Reading this has related to my situation in so many ways! I totally get where you are coming from.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar (Rapid Cycling) and ADHD in 2014 after years and years of severe mood changes and hyperactivity/unable to concentrate etc. I was put on meds straight away. Fast forward 5 years and I’ve tried every combo of anti psychotic and Anti depressant around and the side effects all made my life worse not better. I was still getting depressed even on high doses of Anti Depressants and my psychiatrist literally gave up trying and told me I’m one of the sickest patients he’s ever seen. What a blow! I had a bad depressive phase last November and the meds did nothing if anything I was getting suicidal which is rare for me believe it or not. So I told my GP that I was tapering off my meds and I’m now med free and I can think straight again! I was also diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue in 2010 and lost the will to do the sports I loved so much. Last year I started looking into hormone imbalances as my rapid cycling is always around my period every month! It’s that bad that my partner never knows what mood I will be in from one day to the next and he is suffering. So enough is enough! I’m not a quitter and I know my body and mind and I do not dispute the ADHD (the meds actually helped for that but the side effects were awful too) I am getting help to see what’s going on with my hormones and pituitary gland as fatigue and mood swings are all symptoms of various hormone imbalances and I question wether this is why the bipolar meds do not help me at all! So it’s my mission to get to the bottom of this and I will not take another pill until I do. Now I do accept that medication has its place but if it’s making your quality of life worse or it’s being given wrongly diagnosed then something needs to be done. My hair is falling out, I’m in constant period pain, I have got sweats during the day, I’m fatigued all the time although my eating regime is that of a top athlete and natural supps to boot. I do not eat wheat, dairy or eggs and soya. I do not drink alcohol or caffeine so I’m doing all the right things myself but it’s not helping!

I’m trying to get in touch with a good Endocrinologist and I’m awaiting bloods although my bloods always come back ok I’m told that they are not always accurate and Saliva tests are better for hormone accuracy etc.

Do not give up. Look at every possible cause and tick them off as you go. I’m trying to stay positive even after all these years since I had 2 ectopics in 2001/2003 and the mood swings started after that..

I’ve told my GP that it’s not that I don’t think I’m Bipolar - I just think something is causing it and I will not wait any longer just existing as I want to live a fulfilling life!