Tired of being tired

[Countrygirl32]

Hi I'm 32yrs old I'm just so tired of being tired.. I dont feel like I deserve to be here anymore and I don't know how I can keep going.. I feel as if I'm just living day by day and pretending to be alright.. I am alone and yes I have family and friends but I feel they would be much better off if I was just gone.. I want go be gone but I cant bring myself to do anything drastic yet.. although i think about dying a lot and ways to do it without pain.. I'm ready to dye and I'm just tired of being tired.. so for repeating things I've never done this b4..

[dougal2]

Hi country girl

Sorry to hear how you feel and what your going through. Welcome to the community.

I'm sure your family and friends love you to bits, and you deserve happiness. we all live in mad rush with too many things to do without making time for important things in our lives. I would see your doctor and tell them how low you feel. Try make bit time couple times week to do something for you, what ever makes you happy and relaxed.

Really hope you get help you need. Your life and happiness is important.

[Countrygirl32 in reply to dougal2]

Hello thank you for your kind words. I have seen my gp and I'm seeing a therapist but I just dont think I have the energy to keep it going I'm just tired all the time and the meds I'm on dont really seem to take the thoughts of pain away..

[dougal2 in reply to Countrygirl32]

Give the meds few weeks to work, if no change then tell your doctor you need try something else.

[Countrygirl32 in reply to dougal2]

Just did that we upped the meds from 10mg to 20mg been about 2 weeks now.. or 3 I cant remember lol

[sunshine801]

Hi,

I am in tears while reading this because I relate very strongly to how you feel at the moment. I am 21, not 32, and I am also eternally tired, struggling to get a decent amount's sleep at night, and feeling like my life is a lie because just getting about the day acting as if I feel okay is massively ignoring the disturbing thoughts which are going on in my head. I often feel like a burden to the people around me and like I would like to stop the suffering in a permanent way.

Maybe this isn't the most helpful reply because I can't really tell you what to do to feel better - I haven't worked it out myself, and I'm sure you have already heard the usual advice about depression like exercise, routine and connecting with other people.

I wondered if you had spoken to your family and/or friends about how you are feeling? I know that it can be really difficult, but I have found some solace in opening up to people. I need to remind myself of this too, but you are much more valued and loved by others than you probably realise, and you may have lost sight of that in not loving yourself. One thing I have thought, regarding suicidal thoughts, is that suicide isn't a solution because afterwards you will be dead.... what you actually WANT (I imagine) is to live but without the chronic suffering which depression brings about, and ending your life wouldn't bring you that. Think of laughter and pleasant experiences which you have had in the past, if you just ended your life then you would be obliterating all hope of having those joyful moments again. Have you ever tried to meditate? It won't make you feel better straight away, but is scientifically proven to help depression when you incorporate it into your life over a sustained period of time, and even doing one meditation today would probably help you calm down a bit. There are many different guided ones on YouTube. I would stay away from heavy drinking at the moment; alcohol is very normalized in society and seen as a go-to pick-me-up, but can make things worse (not saying to permanently avoid it, maybe just keep it more moderate).

I am currently reading a book called "Lost Connections" by Johann Hari. I would highly recommend it to anyone suffering from feeling sad, tired or lost. He is a masterful storyteller and delves into some of the reasons behind increased mental health problems in the modern world.

Feel free to message me personally if you feel like you need a further outlet for your feelings or someone anonymous to connect with. Please try and eat, rest and get a bit of fresh air in the meantime. I don't know what job you have, or if you are working at the moment, but taking some time off could be a good idea.

Lots of love. X

[Countrygirl32 in reply to sunshine801]

Hello I'm sad for you being only 21 and feeling how I feel.. I wouldn't wish this feeling on my worst enemy.. you are very young and I hope that in time you and I will both heal but for me right now I just wish I can close my eyes and that's it. No more awakening and just be done of being tired all the time.. This book you recommend I wish I could read it however I have lost my interest in reading.. I would read at least 4 books or more a month. I just cant seem to concentrate on anything these days.. I am doing the mediation at night to help me sleep and listening to white noise it does help to sleep but I sleep like crap and still wake up feeling tired and restless.. I work 7 days a week but I do take a day off here and there but then the stress of not being at work and worrying what's going on at work bothers me.. I am just as I like to say 50 shades ..... up.. but thanks for sharing with me xx

[Sarah1111111 Ambassador]

Hi I still feel like this at times I admit but it does get better if you give it time. A couple of years ago I was very down feeling just like you describe but with support have started to get better. Meds and therapy and being honest with friends and family about what I felt are starting to help. Don’t give up talk to us, your gp, helplines like samaritans and friends. It’s hard to start with but gradually it gets easier to be honest and get the help before you get to the point of acting on your thoughts. Keep going and be strong x

[Countrygirl32]

Thank you for your sharing your thoughts with me.. I am on meds and seeing a therapist as well as my gp but I'm just tired of it all.. some of the people I am close to know what's going on but I dont feel very comfortable telling them everything as I dont want to be a burden on them.. yes they say they care and want to help however I dont want to burden them... anywho thanks for listening to me rant.. x