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Mental Health Support
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Depression and being late for work

So last week, I posted on here about my depression and how that makes it hard for me to get to worm on time. There are four managers where I work. One general manager and three assistant managers. I work with an assistant manager and she gets mad at me all the time for being late. Like I said before, I tried telling her about my depression and how that makes it hard for me to get out of bed, but she still gets mad. I know that people here advised me against talking,to her about it again, but before reading their advice, I went to the general manager and told him about my situation. He told me that he understood and to just try my best to get to work on time. He decided not to talk with my assistant manager about it. But last night, I was late and she got mad at me again and she said that she can't work with me anymore. This means she might request that I work other shifts other than her own. I have gotten better about being on time. I used to be hours late, but now I've gotten down to like 30 minutes. I just don't know what else to do. Maybe she (my assistant manager) forgot that my depression is making it hard for me to l get out of bed since i told her of my situation last summer. Maybe I can request that my general manager talk to my assistant manager? I dont know.

Ps: My general manager is the man and my assistant manager is the woman.

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Hello Iluvhorses

Thank you for your message. It feels as if you are trying really hard to overcome this situation and have a good awareness of the situation. You have been very proactive to discuss this with both managers.

You could well be right with your thoughts on the situation and to discuss this with the general manager seems to be a good move forward. Does your work have an occupational health department. as they may be able to support you too?

Do you have other support from a doctor or support worker, they may have more suggestions?

Other members may have more support and experience to share with you.

Do take care and get back to us with how things are going

Best wishes

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Hi Iluvhorses,

I was late for work a lot a few years ago. My depression and mood swings had gotten really bad. I have found that people really don't understand depression unless they or someone in their family has experienced it. Managers only cared about meeting goals, checking off all the boxes, and running a tight ship.

Have you considered discussing depression with a doctor or therapist?

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I have both a therapist and a doctor. I take daily medication. My assistant manager herself suffered from depression for many years.

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Wow! No mercy, huh? Well, have you considered FMLA - Family and Medical Leave Act? If you qualify for it, you could take job protected leave when you need to; however, I believe the leave is unpaid.

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Well I'm thinking maybe she forgot about my situation since we talked last summer. Or maybe I didn't make myself clear?

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If that's the case, please remind her. Depression is real, but so many people don't believe it's serious. They aren't aware of clinical depression. But, your manager has first hand experience. She should understand this.

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It's just hard for me to talk about this to managers. I feel so ashamed because they might just think I'm coming up with excuses. I'm thinking that I can get the general manager to remind her because I know she'll listen to him.

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I understand where you are coming from. The discussions aren't easy. We would rather not have conversations about health issues or any other problems that interfere with work.

You can provide medical documentation if necessary, but I don't think they will go that far.

Hey, is it possible to adjust your work schedule. Do you think that would help?

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I am a waitress. The thing is whenever I am late, someone else has to stay late to cover me. I want to have my schedule readjusted so that I don't have to relieve anybody. I don't want anybody to be affected by my tardiness.

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Ok so, FMLA wouldn't be an option for you, but a schedule adjustment might work.

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I'm rooting for you. Let me know how talks with your employer goes.

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Thank you. They will both be there tonight so I guess I can talk with them then or at least with my general manager.

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Just breathe and do what you must do for yourself. <3

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My general manager has already told me that he understands and to just try my best to be on time. So I don't think I have any reason to worry since he is the boss of my assistant manager.

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I think it will turn out well!

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I hope you're right....

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Try to stay positive and don't forget to let me know.

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Will do :)

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Hey, so I went to my assistant manager myself. She understands my condition, but still believes I can make it to work on time. I believe I can too so from now on I am going to text her everyday an hour before my shift starts saying that I'm out of bed. I will get up, get out of bed, and then text her.

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Hi ! Thanks for letting me know how it went. I was thinking about you today. It took courage to talk to your supervisors. Sounds like you have come up with a plan that you and your boss can live with.😊 I am happy for you!!

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Thank you. I just hope it'll work...

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Why not just tell her what the general manager said and ask her to speak to him? x

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I think I will ask him to speak with her.

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Hey you, It's been awhile. I think this is a bit tricky so keep an open mind. Keeping in mind that you have depression if you are able to work then you should also be able to get to your job on time. Try getting there early. Going over your assistant manager's head to the manager isn't going to make your work environment any better. When it comes down to you or the asst. manager guess who will keep their job. The one who comes to work on time. It's harsh, but life is more difficult when you have an illness. Over coming these problems will help you get better. Making the right choice now will determine your future. I know you have been through much harder situations than this , and you have shown yourself to be an independent person. Is there a reason for how you are feeling fight now. Beyond the usual reasons, I mean. Pam

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I just think depression runs in my blood.

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If you think that then you're saying you can't do anything about it. You can, it's not easy. I've seen a number of people get past depression and some reduce its effect. You're a smart girl and so worth whatever effort it takes to get well. Pam

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My goal isn't to get better. I'm just trying to manage it. But if it does get better then that would be great.

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Why wouldn't you want to get better? This might be something to speak to your therapist about.

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I don't know if it's possible. Getting better I mean. If it's in my blood then there's nothing I can do about it except manage it. But if it not in my blood then I would love to get better.

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