Mental Health Support
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I don't know what to do with my life

Hello i'm new here and this is my first time even considering that something could be up with my my mental health. I'm not sure if I'm just lazy. I guess my main problem is I have no idea what I want to do with my life and I don't really like anything. I mean I like watching tv and I love my family and I like animals and music but I don't know how to make a career off of that. I also don't have the motivation to really go out and see what I like, I also don't have the money. I wish I had something I loved to do or had a calling. I don't have anything that really interests me. I've never liked anyone either. I'm fine just living at home with my family, being single, never having kids or a job but I know I can't do that. I don't want to do that to my parents. Sometimes I think it might just be easier if I died. I feel like it would solve all my problems. I wouldn't have to worry about the future or do anything. Although, of course I would never kill myself. I don't want to die but I just wonder if the reason I don't have anything I like or motivation is because i'm destined to die before I do. I feel like I sound incredibly lazy and crazt. I want to find what I love, I want a career, and maybe even get married but I just... don't. I don't have anything I love (besides my pets and family), I don't know what I want to do, and boys scare me. Am I just incredibly lazy or could something be wrong with me? Sorry for the essay but if you read all of this, thank you :)

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Hi there,

It's really great you have shared how you're feeling here. First of all, I want to reassure you that you don't sound lazy or crazy - and I definitely recognise some of what you have written.

No one here can diagnose you, but what I would say is that one of the key symptoms of depression is little pleasure or interest in doing things. If this sounds like you, it might be worth completing this self assessment on NHS Choices: nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/depressi... You can print off the results too, which can provide a really useful starting point to talking with a doctor about how you are feeling. It sounds like you are also having some suicidal thoughts e.g. it would be easier if I just died. I would really encourage you to go and speak with your GP about this - they won't judge you or think you're crazy, but they will help you get help if you want it. How would you feel about showing a doctor what you have written here?

Also wanted to say it's completely healthy and normal not to feel like you have one true calling. Going out and getting a job is really scary and you might have to try out lots of different things to find out what fits. It's a bit cheesy, but if you Google Jay Shetty's everyone's timing is different, it has some great messages about this. Some people are convinced they know what they want at 18 and later find it doesn't fit, others have no idea but fall into something they love. Getting started at anything is progress - even if you hate it you will have learned what you want to avoid.

You have mentioned your love of animals and music. Is there anything else that makes you happy? How long have you been feeling like you are at the moment? Did you have hopes for the future before?

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Emotion aside for a second, thought of something I want to pass on to you. May help? Today, while considering what job to do for the rest of my life, I remembered why I want to become a florist. When i was 5 and 6 years old I lived in Germany and remembered the smell of a flower shop. I went on to study agriculture and work in horticulture. Seems this love of plants comes from that experience as a child. You love animals? Get a certificate to be a vet assistant? Your world will unfold once you take a step. *bows out of the room*

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Hi welcome to the club! I am way older than you and never knew what I wanted to do with my life too. You are right that you have to work but many people simply drift into a job like I did. I have always done office work not because loved it but because I didn't mind it and found it quite easy. This is the reality for a lot of people.

If you want a specific career then you need to study and get some qualifications. Are you still at school and how old are you?

You sound very young and there is no need to make up your mind for years yet so my advice is just to forget about pressure and concentrate on living and enjoying your life. Your life is for you live as you want and there is no rule saying you have to do this or that - it's your life and no one else's. x

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Welcome Amalva0518,

Your story is very familiar. I was always in the lazy category for one reason or another. Since you are concerned about it, you might want to talk to your family if you haven't already. They are around you each day. How do they feel about it? Unfortunately, I never felt that I could talk to my family about my feelings, their feelings, and life in general.

I think people who are close to us can sometimes help us see things that we aren't able to see. For example, I think I have a good relationship with my daughter. She has much of the same feelings that you have. She is concerned that she is not moving out into the world because most of the people she knows aren't at home with their parents. She must remember that everyone isn't the same. You must remember that too. What is good for others might not be good for you. Everyone is unique.

Please stay in touch with us.

Blessings

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Thank you everyone who replied, I'm young but not that young. I just turned 21 and I'm in college getting a degree in biology but I'm not even sure if that's what I want. I just forced myself to go out and try joining an internship at a nearby zoo since I like animals. Hopefully I'll realize what I like. I've mentioned my indecisiveness to my dad and my mom a little but they don't seem that concerned or interested. They tell me I should try being a vet or lawyer but I don't just want them to list careers for me if that makes sense. I don't know, I feel likes it's something I must figure out for myself. I just need to remember that it comes to people at different times. And to 'everyrose' I feel joy in some things like when I'm with my family or pets. I do feel like I'm wasting my life and that I"m never really satisfied sometimes but I think that's everyone. Anyway,thank you agin for your support. Glad to know I'm not the only one that feels this way.

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