I don't know what to do! Please help..

[ang95]

Hi everyone, this is the story of someone I know and he is going through tough times and i don't know how to help him

He is suffering from depression and anxiety and he is probably not acknowledging it but it's clear.

He is 23 years old, he start working and planning to start his own business but 4 months ago, he got deceived and all his work went in vain, he sacrificed his time, his health (he have diabetes

and he is pushing himself to the limits) but all of this was wasted on nothing. The man who he worked for didn't pay him the work that he spend a lot doing it, and by that, a lot of things that he was planning get frozen and that was even bad for his reputation. U probably would wounder why not taking this to the court right!! But believe me, it won't work.

After that incident, he stayed home, he felt tired and crushed.

sometimes we need to take a brake, we need to take some time to heal, to think about what went wrong, learn from what happen and maybe change the plan.

That would be easier when you are surrounded by supportive people, but this is not his case, he is staying with his parents and his father being so abusive and his mother loosing hope day after day.

He is crying everyday, he is destroyed and sensitive, he is thinking about dying..

Leaving his family is not an option, he have no where to go

I can't just go and drag him out of it, I can't do whatever i want (Culture, traditions or whatever problems)

And going to a Psychiatrist isn't something commune here, mental health isn't a priority here

I'm trying to help, i'm talking to him but i'm unable to do much, He need to start searching for a new beginning and maybe a job, but what about his depression and anxiety!

What am I suppose to tell him! What to do!!

(Sorry for my English)

[Stilltrying_]

Hi there, he is lucky to have a friend like yourself who cares about him and wants to help.

Sometimes it is difficult to know what to do and sometimes all we can do is to let people know that we are there to support them through difficult times.

I am gathering you are in another country such as India but to be honest I haven't checked your profile.

You are right that he needs to find a new job and a new beginning; he has had some very bad experiences and difficulties in his life. Depression and anxiety are horrible illnesses. I don't know what is available for him where he lives but sometimes medication and just talking can help.

Sorry I can't answer you better, I'm a little tired at the moment but I did want to try and help.

Gemma x

[ang95 in reply to Stilltrying_]

Thank you for the reply i really appreciate it

I will talk to him more and see if he can handle the start of a new beginning because he would need a lot of energy to start over.

Take care ♥

[Hidden in reply to ang95]

Yes tell him everything is going to be ok..things weren't meant to go as planned..tell him to forget about the money, the person who owes him will find bad luck....ask him again what the problem is, maybe there's more to it..let him do the talking and you be there for support and encouragement..He needs you..your a good friend..

[ang95 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for replying i really appreciate it

I just need to know, is it ok to tell him that he need to look for a job!! that's sensitive, his father already telling him that he need to find something to do (aggressively).

Should I just be there and agree with him about everything or tell him the truth that he should look for a job even if it's hard to find one right now. I don't wanna make him feel bad about himself.. but to get out of the depression and the bad environment, he need a new start, right! maybe i'm wrong, i don't know..

[Hidden in reply to ang95]

Just be there for him..tell him you will help him find a job..also ask him if anything else is going on because there may be more going on inside him..stay positive with him..He is sensitive now .. reassure him things will go well for the better..

[ang95 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for the support

I talked to him and the biggest problem is his father, he is being so abusive.

My friend mentioned the job but he said he can't handle a full time job (his job need physical strength) and he said he can't take a normal job because it's a low salary that won't lead him to the start up that he planned for.

He gave up didn't he!! I couldn't tell him just do it and take any job you find because that job won't get him to where he wanna be.. I didn't know what to tell him, i'm just being there for him but that's not enough since nothing is going to change..

[Hidden in reply to ang95]

If he really wants a job it doesn't matter how much it pays..and if he really wants his plan to work, what is he doing to get plan done?..things worked out like this because life is telling him it's not time for his plan right now..this is why the distraction..things have taken another corner..

[ang95 in reply to Hidden]

I will talk to him more, there must be a solution somehow to get him out of it

Thank you so much for replying and for being here ♥ It means a lot to me

[marigold22 in reply to ang95]

To me, he sounds exhausted from stress. Our bodies and brains have to rest in order to heal. I personally doubt he is in a fit state right now to take any job. It's so sad that his father is not being supportive, in fact is being abusive. That too will exhaust him even more. Ask him to think very hard if there is anywhere at all he could stay just for a short time - friends, relatives? I'm guessing he doesn't have much money; if he did have some he could maybe find a cheap place to stay, like at the seaside to really just chill out.

[ang95 in reply to marigold22]

Thank you for the support ♥

You're right his father's attitude making the situation worse.

He doesn't have much money.

I will ask him if he can stay with someone because it sounds like he really need to get away from his father.

edit: By the way, I thought about the job because i felt like it's the only solution left to get out of the house and be a little bit independent, but it's hard since he is dealing with all this pressure.

[ang95]

This does help, thank you for the support ♥

His father is taking a big part of how he feel right now, so i'm gonna try to be there for him first and when he feel better maybe i will talk to him and discuss the next career move and hopefully he will get motivated.

No matter how long it's gonna take him to feel better from the hurtful words that his father said, we will get there and we will have a new beginning.

[ang95]

Thank you so much i really appreciate it ♥

[Finglas-Boy]

Don't know where you are so cannot advise re appropriate routes v guy who deceived your friend. Try to get him to make a job out of finding a job + convert feelings into anger/desire for justice v the pleb who's wronged him. Above all just be there for him & make sure he knows this. This is the wrong time of year to be feeling the world's against you. 🇮🇪

[ang95 in reply to Finglas-Boy]

Thank you for the support i really appreciate it

I will be there for him and hopefully everything will turn out fine

[Hidden]

Hiya, it sounds like you are doing everything you can to support him - being there, listening, gently encouraging, doing practical things, helping out. Maybe his mother could ask his father to be more supportive and less aggressive? Take care,

[ang95 in reply to Hidden]

I'm trying to help but i feel like i didn't do much since nothing changed..

You're right his mother should talk to his father..

Thank you so much for the support

Take care ♥

[belintte]

I think by the sounds of it mental health is a priority here and you need to get yourfriend to a doctors. Just because you cannot see mental health it doesn't make it less of a priority than any other medical problem. x Stay safe, doctors or hospital.

[Florida1959]

Yes you are a good friend, be honest with him, get him to talk things through, even with you, and get him to write stuff down, small steps will help him overcome the big steps , good luck