Hi everyone, this is the story of someone I know and he is going through tough times and i don't know how to help him
He is suffering from depression and anxiety and he is probably not acknowledging it but it's clear.
He is 23 years old, he start working and planning to start his own business but 4 months ago, he got deceived and all his work went in vain, he sacrificed his time, his health (he have diabetes
and he is pushing himself to the limits) but all of this was wasted on nothing. The man who he worked for didn't pay him the work that he spend a lot doing it, and by that, a lot of things that he was planning get frozen and that was even bad for his reputation. U probably would wounder why not taking this to the court right!! But believe me, it won't work.
After that incident, he stayed home, he felt tired and crushed.
sometimes we need to take a brake, we need to take some time to heal, to think about what went wrong, learn from what happen and maybe change the plan.
That would be easier when you are surrounded by supportive people, but this is not his case, he is staying with his parents and his father being so abusive and his mother loosing hope day after day.
He is crying everyday, he is destroyed and sensitive, he is thinking about dying..
Leaving his family is not an option, he have no where to go
I can't just go and drag him out of it, I can't do whatever i want (Culture, traditions or whatever problems)
And going to a Psychiatrist isn't something commune here, mental health isn't a priority here
I'm trying to help, i'm talking to him but i'm unable to do much, He need to start searching for a new beginning and maybe a job, but what about his depression and anxiety!
What am I suppose to tell him! What to do!!
(Sorry for my English)
Hi there, he is lucky to have a friend like yourself who cares about him and wants to help.
Sometimes it is difficult to know what to do and sometimes all we can do is to let people know that we are there to support them through difficult times.
I am gathering you are in another country such as India but to be honest I haven't checked your profile.
You are right that he needs to find a new job and a new beginning; he has had some very bad experiences and difficulties in his life. Depression and anxiety are horrible illnesses. I don't know what is available for him where he lives but sometimes medication and just talking can help.
Sorry I can't answer you better, I'm a little tired at the moment but I did want to try and help.
Thank you for the reply i really appreciate it
I will talk to him more and see if he can handle the start of a new beginning because he would need a lot of energy to start over.
Take care ♥
Yes tell him everything is going to be ok..things weren't meant to go as planned..tell him to forget about the money, the person who owes him will find bad luck....ask him again what the problem is, maybe there's more to it..let him do the talking and you be there for support and encouragement..He needs you..your a good friend..
Thanks for replying i really appreciate it
I just need to know, is it ok to tell him that he need to look for a job!! that's sensitive, his father already telling him that he need to find something to do (aggressively).
Should I just be there and agree with him about everything or tell him the truth that he should look for a job even if it's hard to find one right now. I don't wanna make him feel bad about himself.. but to get out of the depression and the bad environment, he need a new start, right! maybe i'm wrong, i don't know..
Just be there for him..tell him you will help him find a job..also ask him if anything else is going on because there may be more going on inside him..stay positive with him..He is sensitive now .. reassure him things will go well for the better..
Thank you for the support
I talked to him and the biggest problem is his father, he is being so abusive.
My friend mentioned the job but he said he can't handle a full time job (his job need physical strength) and he said he can't take a normal job because it's a low salary that won't lead him to the start up that he planned for.
He gave up didn't he!! I couldn't tell him just do it and take any job you find because that job won't get him to where he wanna be.. I didn't know what to tell him, i'm just being there for him but that's not enough since nothing is going to change..
If he really wants a job it doesn't matter how much it pays..and if he really wants his plan to work, what is he doing to get plan done?..things worked out like this because life is telling him it's not time for his plan right now..this is why the distraction..things have taken another corner..
I will talk to him more, there must be a solution somehow to get him out of it
Thank you so much for replying and for being here ♥ It means a lot to me
To me, he sounds exhausted from stress. Our bodies and brains have to rest in order to heal. I personally doubt he is in a fit state right now to take any job. It's so sad that his father is not being supportive, in fact is being abusive. That too will exhaust him even more. Ask him to think very hard if there is anywhere at all he could stay just for a short time - friends, relatives? I'm guessing he doesn't have much money; if he did have some he could maybe find a cheap place to stay, like at the seaside to really just chill out.
Thank you for the support ♥
You're right his father's attitude making the situation worse.
He doesn't have much money.
I will ask him if he can stay with someone because it sounds like he really need to get away from his father.
edit: By the way, I thought about the job because i felt like it's the only solution left to get out of the house and be a little bit independent, but it's hard since he is dealing with all this pressure.