Hye!
I just want to share what i’ve been through with my up and down emotions. After my college graduation, i did part time jobs that required carrying heavy items. I got cursed a lot by the shop manager (and not because i did something wrong) I ended up quitting my job because I couldn’t handle the stress anymore and after that i start to lock my self inside the room. My siblings are very successful in their working field while me still counting days until my paycheck day. I am super ashamed to meet them. I am super ashamed with my cousins because they all were super smart and successful. I’m ashamed to my parents because i dont even have extra money to give them. I just take them out for a light meal because i only can afford that. Actually, i’m tired of myself for being this way. Lately i woke up feeling lifeless, hopeless, useless.
I got in as daily worker at one of the government office but after three months they decided to cut me off because they want to save budget. I got super stressed out. I dont know what to think anymore. Its like every thing bad happen in this world because of me. I hate looking myself at the mirror. I hate me own shadow. I’m so ashamed of myself for being stupid and not being able to stand on my own feet.
I do not know how but please someone help me. I do not if this only pure stress or depression.
Help me get out of this darkness.
Every morning I want to die
I need some... love?
Do I sound like a awful mother wanting some me time 
I just don't know where to turn.
I want to section myself
