I just don't know where to turn.

[kezhan]

Hi all, this is my first post and I'm not to sure how to word this but I'll give it my best shot. I just feel totally hopeless, I feel numb and I feel suffocated. I just don't know what to do to cope with how I feel. I feel like I'm at the end of my tether and I just can't cope with this immense sadness anymore. I just wish I could turn it all off. I'm 26, I have a full time job and I'm relatively healthy. My stress and anxiety has really taken it's toll on my body. I ache all the time, I'm weak and I'm receiving numerous amounts of treatments to help ease the tension and pain in my body. I have a partner but things are awful we argue all the time. He can't understand why I do the things I do to cope, excessive cleaning, things being in an exact place ECT. I worry about everything all the time and he just tells me to "stop being stupid and stop worrying" I just don't know how to get how I feel across to him. I just feel so lost and don't know where to start.

[Kittybiersack17]

I know how you feel 😔have you thought about seeing a physcitrist?

[kezhan in reply to Kittybiersack17]

I'm sorry to hear you feel the same. I did briefly see one but it was private and I had to pay. It helped for a while but now I've just slipped back to where I was before

[hypercat54]

Hi this sounds more like OCD to me which is a manifestation of anxiety. Of course you can have both anxiety and depression together. You need specific treatment for this but I don't know what country you are in. If the UK go back to your doctor and ask for NHS counselling. This is free but it can be a lengthy wait.

As for your partner some people will never understand so it's best to stop trying to explain to him. If he has a go at you just tell him that's the way it is and leave it at that. Refuse to get drawn into arguments with him. You know it's real after all.

It would probably help if you could think of ways he could help and ask him to do this. He probably doesn't know how to react or what to do so reverts to 'that's stupid etc'. x

[kezhan in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you x your reply was very helpful x I am in the UK and I guess I've just been telling myself it would just go away x a doctors appointment is probably the best plan of action x

[hypercat54 in reply to kezhan]

Good I am glad I was able to help a bit. It's common to tell ourselves it will go away and sometimes it even comes true, but quite often it doesn't unfortunately. Also by the time we seek help it is harder than it would have been earlier. But that's life I guess. It can be too much of the famous 'British Upper Lip' syndrome! x

[kezhan in reply to hypercat54]

I have found it really hard to admit that I'm back to square one and I think this is what has made it harder to seek help. Yes I definitely think it's a bit of a stuff upper lip! I think also because there's nothing evidently "wrong" in my life it's like I don't have a reason to feel this way if that makes sense. I am glad to have spoken out though & thank you again for advice. It is amazing how relief you get from just getting it off your chest! Xx

[hypercat54 in reply to kezhan]

Depression can strike at random no matter what an amazing life you have. It is not a sign you are weak or flawed, it is just like any other illness. x

[Hidden in reply to kezhan]

Hiya, I agree with Hypercat. It's like any physical illness, it needs proper treatment and maybe medication. I also would consider CBT therapy, which will help you respond differently, when difficult situations arise. We can't control events, but with practice, we can have some control over how we react to them. Take care,

[kezhan in reply to Hidden]

That makes total sense. I spend so much energy trying to control my surroundings and my environment that I'm exhausted. Thank you for your response, I am surprised that with all of the replies ive had, you have been able to understand where I'm coming from and help me dissect it to get a better idea what I'm dealing with. I guess that's beauty of actually sharing your struggles with those who understand!

[Hidden in reply to kezhan]

Yes, it's taken me 60 years to realise I have no control over events, so you are well ahead of me !! Use that knowledge wisely, as I'm ure you will. I wish I'd realised it at your age, but better late than never. And yes, forums like this make you realise that you are not alone and other people are walking the same path as you, some ahead and some behind, but it's nice to talk to fellow travellers. Take care,

[kezhan in reply to Hidden]

It's reassuring to know that it's not something you have to fight alone x you take care too! Your advice has been very much appreciated x

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi Kezhan and welcome to this caring forum. We are unable to diagnose on the forum, but as hypercat54 has mentioned, what you describe does sound like OCD, in addition to anxiety and depression. It would be a good idea for you to make an appointment to see your GP and you may be referred for counselling / CBT. As hypercat54 has mentioned, there can be a lengthy wait to access these treatments on the NHS. If you decide to pay for these treatments privately, please make sure the practitioner is registered with The British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy. All the best with this. You will begin to feel better. A useful website you may like to have a look at is---

Anxiety UK anxietyuk.org.uk

Please stay on the forum to receive help and support from other members. Thank you and best wishes.

[kezhan in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Thank you for your reply. I never even thought about checking that private treatments were registered. I'm going to make an appointment with my gp and go from there. I think from all the advice I've received that this is the best option for me. I've been a bit naive to think that I could do this on my own and I think I've let it go to far. Thank you again xx