EXTREME ANGER AWFUL FEELING

I suddenly feel so angry and tense. I feel extremely angry and just want to swear loudly and throw things. Its just an AWFUL feeling, and I absolutely hate when I get like this. It happens often. It feels like there are a lot of suppressed emotions and feelings and thoughts which I cannot seem to express into words or in a calm manner, and sometimes even when I try to explain how I feel in this moment to someone it makes it worse. Why? Usually when I manage to open up about my feelings and communicate I feel much better afterwards, but when I feel so low and angry and frustrated and confused and p*ssed off I just cannot seem to express these feelings to anyone, and I get even more angry when I do. I threw some ice-cubes outside against a wall but it didn't help, i feel SO F*CKING ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED!! and it is a constant vicious cycle because i don't know what the hell is bothering me but at the same time i feel like i know damn well what is bothering me and i am just torturing myself by not allowing myself to accept that i feel awful and angry at something or someone. Usually when I feel like this, I self-harm in order to release some sort of feeling or emotion. Its horrible for me because i either cannot cry despite how intense and strongly upset i feel, or i can cry and do cry but i sort of stop in between crying and freeze? Does anyone else get this or know what the hell is going on with me? When I feel this angry and confused i can't even speak about anything rationally, or objectively. I just want to feel free and that I can scream the loudest I can and break things and hurt myself. I am just sitting here with all these feelings, trapped in my room because im too lazy and frozen to even get up, like i am dissociating, yet i just want to run around and throw myself against stuff and swear and smash everything around me.

[Shadow123-]

Hi there. OMG thats exactly what i get. I feel like my head is gonna explode and often resort to self harm to get a bit of relief- at least it feels like that but i think really its cos i hate myself and very reclusive. Find it hard to go out anywhere cos i feel people looking at me and judging me. Thats a snapshot of me so if u ever feel like off loading Im here. In fact youve made a start already as u will find u r not alone on this site and there are lots of very kind, warm, sensitive and understanding members.

Take care darlin

Love and peace

Shadow 🖤