Hello
Not exactly sure what to say or how to say it but I feel I have no other option but to express myself with others that maybe feeling the same as me 
I’m feeling very suicidal and I can’t seem to shift these feelings from my head, I constantly feel like I’m a let down and I feel like everyone would simply be better off with out me, yes they would be sad at first but after a while they would just forget me. I know it may seem selfish or a cowards way out but I can’t think of any other way. I don’t want to live this life anymore I’m struggling to get by on a normal day to day basis. I’m a failure i can’t seem to keep a relationship, I also have children but I can’t help that my children would be better of with out me aswell regardless what ppl say.. ‘ur children need u etc etc’ Almost seems like that isn’t enough to stop me feeling this way. I’m constantly stressed out always in a mood, I hate myself and I hate my life
Possible Trigger Warning MH. 
Had Enough ( Trigger Warning )
Binge drinking Trigger Warning
Trying to start over *trigger warning*
*Trigger warning** I can’t do this anymore
Hello saraleee
Even tho i can't relate to having children yet im currently pregnant with my first child i can relate to having the suicidal feelings that you are going through may i ask are you on any antidepressants ??what i will say is you need to reach out and get some help from your gp and close friends even writing down how you feel if you dont feel like talking will help as they will see how you feel and help you out.
I took an overdose last year that could of killed me homecare treatment team came round without me knowing and got me to a hosp in time the regret you feel when you wake up and are still alive is annoying but the hurt that you feel putting ur family through that is a hundred times worse i remember my husband phoning my mum up and telling her what i had done caused my mum to screech like an animal he said she was so upset and when they came to the hosp they wanted to know why i did what i did as it didnt make sense to them and i told them the exact same thing youve just said to me now it feels like i could of written this. I also spent 5 days in a psych ward afterwards
Thanks for reaching out on here and stay strong but please book yourself an app asap and get help thats the only way these negative thoughts will die down and go away sometimes it takes a while to find the right antidepressants as well so persevere and take your time but im always here if you want or need to talk sometimes reaching out to people you dont know helps too
Also dying is a fix to a temporary solution ... you can get there and you will but it will take time hang in there. Depression is a bitch but you can overcome it with help x
Take care of yourself n your kids xx
Hey
Thank you for your message it was really nice of you to say those things considering you don’t know me. I appreciate all the things u have said and suggested, iv been to the gp many times over the years but I feel they don’t really help you, iv also been on antidepressants a few years ago but not recently. I just didn’t want to end up in that cycle of having to rely on a pill to make me brain work normal
Iv google all the possible ways to commit suicide looked up the easiest and painlesss way to die iv even gone to the extreme of looking up how to end mine and my children’s life because I didn’t want to leave them behind 😢 what kinda of a mother does that make me how could I have those thoughts and feeling for my children I brought in to this world that are totally Inicent to this. They deserve better they really do they deserve someone who can give them everything. I’m sorry I really shouldnt be writing all of this but I just needed to tell someone how I felt. Probably not what u want to head when ur carrying a beautiful little one.
I love my children with all my heart don’t get me wrong.
Thank you honestly thank you and I wish you all the best with the rest of ur pregnant too xxx
For people with depression we have a chemical inbalance in our brain and its not our fault so what if u need a pill to function so do most people for one ailment or another. No its absolutely fine you sound like your a brilliant mum and you care about your kids and they do need you in their lives regardless of how you feel right now you will get past these horrible feelings and live on and when you look back you will realise how far you have come. Looking up ways to die IS a cry for help believe me bless ya i wish i could just give you a hug and tell you it will be ok we all go through these feelings in one way or another but keep reaching out we are here to listen and help in anyway we can xx
Thank u so much too only just over 9 weeks to go eeekk stay strong and message me anytime if you need to 😀 xx