Sat alone at 5am crying to myself

[Leo142]

Oh what a cruel world we live in you wake up in the morning not knowing how the day will turn out and then something happens and you think about all the little things that added up for you to be in that time at that moment and realise its just how it goes il go a few months with semi decent standard of living, ive been leaving the house to go on a course i never leave the house not even to go to the shop so this was a massive change i even ate breakfast on a few days i thought it was going to be alright and thats when it strikes life with its bat of misery comes back to break me down and im here again crying on my computer at 10 to 6 in the morning and it takes me back to everytime ive been sat here every time lifes beaten me and im sick of it im tired of having to deal with this because of what because im not selfish because i try to be good becasue i dont know how to handle everything.. all those poor people that get murdered have there lifes cut short in the blink of a eye and here i am wishing mine away all those people who have it worse and here i am upset i dont deserve this i dont deserve all the shit that has happened to me in the last couple years and i seriously dont deserve to be happy why else would it be the same thing different month the date changes but i feel the same i dont feel as if ive aged past my depression its as if im in limbo and this is the hell thats waiting for me this insomnia on a night the night i cant help but cry.. I lay awake listening to my heartbeat and i hold my breath to slow it down but it never stops am i crazy for wanting it to

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi Leo, You are having a difficult time at the moment. You definitely deserve to be happy, everyone does, you don't have to earn it! If you haven't already, may I urge you to chat to your GP and get some professional medical advice and support. Ask for a referral to your local community mental health teams (CMHT) as there are a range of therapies available, not just medication, but talking therapies. You sound like you need help to get out of this rut you're in and to get a fresh perspective on things. Therapy can help us challenge and change unhelpful negative thinking and behaviours.

You are not alone, we are here and listening.

Keep these UK crisis support helplines handy:

The Samaritans Tel: 116 123 [24 hours line]

NHS: 999 [Emergencies]

NHS 111 [Non-Emergencies]

MIND UK charity: Helpline Tel: [phone] [e-mail] Text: 86463 mind.org.uk/information-sup...

SANEline Tel: [phone] [4.30pm – 10.30pm daily] sane.org.uk/

Keep in touch! Stay safe!

Best wishes,

MAS Nurse

[semka]

Hi Leo

You have been given some great advice by the person who previously replied to you .

Can you follow this advice and try and seek the professional services that are available.

You sound like what I can relate to and getting the correct help with medication would really benefit yourself. Our experiences are all relative and we all have a threshold of what we feel is manageable, and what is not.

It isn't helpful to store up our past issues, yet it happens all too easily. Try hard not to go over these, but instead shelve them and allow them to collect dust so they get buried and cannot be lifted up.

Another way of dealing with our hurts and painful experiences is to imagine/visualise gathering them up in a big bin liner, making sure you put a big knot in the top of the bag/s and throw it/ them up to the sun - never to return again.

Another way to process these hurts is to write them down and screw up the piece of paper,and in a safe environment/area in your garden/or a garden some where / park if you don't have a garden to access, and set fire to the paper and watch it all burn away - In this way you are releasing those experiences/fears/pain.

you can also get some balloons, blow them up, write on paper, and tie the bits of paper onto the balloons and release the balloons into the universe. You can visualise doing this, or actually do this as an activity. If you live near a beach, or can get to a beach to do this - this would be an ideal place to release your balloons.

Happy to talk

Best wishes

Aliska

[Aliska]

Hi Leo ..

How are you today ?

Have you managed to take on any advice that's been given ?

Hapoy to talk

Aliska