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I am sorry you have to face this, I ask myself this question everyday too. But there's nobody can anwser, even god remains silent. It's unpredictable , this's why it's so horrifying. I try to get used to it, as I don't know when it will go away.
Stay strong, don't give up. We will get well someday, I promise. It maybe take weeks, months, or even years...But the most important thing is, you are still here, alive.
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