I hope this isn’t going to sound too weird or silly but I have been having some really bad issues lately.
We purchased a kitten a few weeks ago, she is around 10 weeks old now; basically I am not coping well at all. I thought I would be able to cope and read a lot of things about how cats can help with anxiety but I think it has pushed me the other way I really cannot cope with her and I feel awful and I do not know what to do.
I have severe anxiety most of my life and was on tablets but I tried so hard to manage it alone that I eventually became able to not be on the medication anymore which has been like that for around 7 years and I have been doing great.
Over the past few days however I have taken a turn for the worse and really becoming unable to cope with my anxiety and I think it is because of the new kitten. She constantly cries and wants my attention which is understandable as she is a baby but it is becoming way too much for me. When she does not get the attention she jumps up your legs and other furniture and goes hyper, I cannot leave the room for 2 minutes without her crying and it is really getting me down. The only time I feel like my anxiety is reduced is when I am out of the house and not around her.
I had a break down on the kitchen floor this morning because she just wouldn’t leave me alone, I wanted 5 minutes to myself so I could get jobs done but she was constantly there and I am getting to the point now where I am trying to come up with excuses with my other half of that I need to be somewhere or do something just so I can be out of the house.
I have told him how I feel but I just don’t think he understands. He says it will get better and that it’s not fair on her in which I agree with but right now I don’t even want to be anywhere near my own home and I feel like a failure because I am not coping. The only way I could describe it really is that it’s what I think postnatal depression feels like but with a kitten. I don’t want to bond with it, be around it and when I am around her I just breakdown and become so stressed to the point I cry and I do not why I am feeling like this.
Just wondering if anyone else had been through similar to what I am going through right now and how you dealt with the situation and what you did. I know it probably sounds like I am been really silly and over-reacting as she is just a kitten but I would really appreciate some advice right now.
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I’m so sorry for your struggles and I really do not think you are being silly or weird at all. It’s a big responsibility to have a living breathing thing relying on you. I’m not a medical expert but I’m betting there can be a lot of things for some that are triggered by the neediness of this cute kitty, and feeling you should be able to cope and wanting to be able to...I have a feeling I could be the same in that situation.
I couldn’t advise on what to do as I think you will make that decision, no doubt it will get easier once kitty gets older and usually I don’t think that is long, but if it is affecting your health so badly maybe someone a relative , friend or somewhere you trust ?could take care of her and you could see her on occasions until she gets older and less dependant on you. she will of course always require care, feeding etc, but maybe it would feel better when she will at least only need you at certain times, rather than 24/7 which is a big responsibility and if affecting your health it’s not good.
We don’t know until we try these things, please don’t beat yourself up about it.
I’m sorry if what I say isn’t much help, I just wanted you to know this could be me...I don’t have any pets and I love animals dearly but understand how it could be, for some overwhelming. For others a great tonic..we are all different,
Hi I have always kept cats but must admit I did find my latest one a challenge as i am getting older. My last cat was agoraphobic and wouldn't go out and my ones before that were house cats until they were 5 and I moved into a home with a garden.
This is the first cat I have had the responsibility of training to go out and even though I love kittens I couldn't wait until he grew up and wasn't so needy.
I don't think it's fair on your kitten or on you so in your shoes I would find it a new home. Baby kittens are demanding but on the other hand they are comforting too and could take your mind off your own problems. If this can't happen though find it a new home where someone else has the patience and can take on the responsibility. x
My boyfriend does not want to rehome her though and wants to keep her. Keeps telling me she will get better and such and that its not fair on her. I just feel like I have lost my safe place, my home was my chill place where I could escape the anxiety, now I don't even want to be in my own home.
Well if he wants to keep her then he can stay at home with her and take on the full responsibility can't he! It's not fair to leave it to you if you don't want her is it? I think you need to have a serious chat with him. x
A part of me thinks it will be better once we can let her outside, that way she will be out all day and not so needy and stuff.
Its just the 4 months wait until we can let her out that is going to be the struggle. I have told him that he will have to care for her as I need to look after myself at the minute.
Your kitten can go out as long as she has had her injections. I let my kitten out at 12 weeks but supervised him staying with him in case he got into trouble. I only let him out for between 30 minutes and an hour. From 6 months on he went out unsupervised but only if I wasn't far away and not for very long.
When I was happy he could look after himself and knew about gardens, dogs, trees, road etc. I let him out unsupervised. He was about a year old then. Baby kittens need to learn about the outside so when yours has had her injections do it the same way. My vet advised me how to do it. x
This may sound mad but it could help to get another kitten, as they would keep each other occupied, playing, chasing and sleeping together. If you can't face that possibility, then I suggest you should have this one rehomed as this stressful situation is not fair on any of you.
If you do keep this kitten, it really won't be long before she calms down and stops being so demanding. It's such a shame you're not in the right frame of mind to cope with her because cats can be so rewarding and it's really wonderful to see them grow up so quickly into independent beings. Good luck with whatever you decide to do and I hope my suggestions give you food for thought. xxx
Hugs!!!! I totally know how you feel!My tween took in a pregnant mom cat from our front yard and she had 4 kittens in my basement a week later😅. With the help of kitty rescue group we got 2 of the kittens adopted out and we kept 2 kittens. One thing that is amazingly counterintuitive is the staff said that they almost always recommend adopting 2....YES....TWO kittens.... at a time.
The reason is because kittens need lots of stimulation and companionship that humans can't provide 24/7. We couldn't believe it but as days passed and we see the strong bond between patches and Kit Kat, We realized how incredible the bond can form between 2 kittens. We spayed and neutered our brother/sister pair and they are inseparable now! They just celebrated their 1st birthday a few days ago!!
I will be praying for you and I strongly encourage you to get a buddy for your kitty. Watching them play is the most relaxing thing in the world! You can PM me with any questions😄😄😄
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