Scared of my elder sister

[harv_singh]

Hi everyone, my anxiety is through the roof, my eldest sister is visiting this weekend and I’m terrified.

She constantly asks why I’m not working, She knows of my depression and anxiety, but she still asks and threatens me that she’s going to take me or my mum to live with her in Yorkshire, if I don’t sort myself out.

I am trying to get better, i recently started taking driving lessons again, going for walks and I’ve also quit alcohol.

She asks these questions in front of my nephews, which makes me feel so worthless and pathetic, I’m 37 and she always says when am I going to sort out my life, she loves to remind me that I’ve failed and left things too late!

I don’t want any arguments but I can’t shake this feeling of fear, she scares me so much. What do I do?

Sometimes I really do feel worthless and pathetic, why am I at 37, scared of my sister? What has my life come to?

[Suzie40]

She sounds like a horrid bully and no disrespect but whether or not you work is none of her business ...

[lil-rose]

I'm so sorry you have to experience this. Maybe watching some youtubes on narcissism or verbal abuse would help, just a thought, but it does sound like your sister could be dealing with her own issues and taking things out on you. I had this with my in laws and even had to take anti anxiety meds at times to be around them. It was very difficult leading up to their visits or when we would visit them. The youtubes gave me some skills to deal with the attacks in a healthier way and feel better about myself in their presence. I eventually had to limit contact for my own mental health, but the youtubes also helped me learn that it's ok to do that. With family it can be hard to recognize abuse because it's been going on so long and we are conditioned to accept it because we were raised in that environment. I am learning that growing up in a stressful environment also leads to anxiety, so healing these issues with your sister in a healthy way could also help the anxiety.

lil-rose

[cgantt]

You are the victim of verbal abuse. Tell someone outside of your family, I urge you. Before it becomes physical.