bea and the lonely bipolar bear..... a battle between love and war continuously inside my head ,,, is there anyone else like me >/?

[fuzzybbear]

I'm 25 I have bi polar one minute I'm happy next I called a nutter ive tried meds a sedatives I'm either drousy and tranquilized or just buzzing off of fresh air ... I had a breakdown at xmas after 13 months of my meds I had a baby in the time my 3rd boy Ollie I'm slowly building myself its the hardest thing ive had to come back from this time my partner and kids weren't enough for me to bounce back I had to hit rock bottom 3000 times in 2 months i realised i needed help when i couldn't bare how i was feeling any more hearing and seeing things is down to my anxiety i know there not real but now my anxiety's gone the imaginations relaxed i love my partner to death but i don't feel like he does love me only for 5 minutes i have a big head and yeah you try do better not happening I'm hot size 10-12 nice long dark hair perfect teeth green eyes big bum c boobs and I'm a sexual predator and fully confident next minute I'm down i see my self as fat .. not worthy .. lucky to have not good enough and cant see why he would be with me I'm just useless to my family the need and deserve better they don't need me

less to him hes going to cheat sexually in this mode I'm prudish shy and nervous I'm just his nutty baby mum who he feels sorry and she just feels sorry for herself because she cant keep the house tidy 3 out of 4 days of the week then i feel like hes seeing someone or sexting them its only him ive been like that in a relationship i love him the most out of the other few but why is this happening why am i sucking the life out of the man i love the man I'm ment to marry hes all i need in life he has my heart and i don't think i could loose him again and the kids would be enough to stop those thoughts coming at that point i would have the confidence to end it all does he pitty me for their sake or is he here out of guilt or does he actually love this bi polar bear only time will tell

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi fuzzybbear and welcome to this caring forum. Congratulations on the birth of your baby boy Ollie. You are doing so well in building yourself back from this difficult time. Have you spoken to your partner about how you are feeling? It may help you both to do this. You alsomention about keeping the house tidy. It is so difficult to do this when you have young children. I bet you are coping much better than you think. It may be a good idea to talk to your family doctor about how you are feeling and then some more help can be put in place. Have you spoken to your health visitor about how you are feeling? He/She is there to support you. If you are feeling distressed, please call--

The Samaritans Freephone 116 123 [24 hour helpline 7 days a week].

Also, the following websites may be helpful to you--

MIND mind.org.uk/information-sup...

wwwibipolaruk.org.uk a charity helping people living with bipolar disorder

HomeStart Charity homestart.org.uk a charity helping families with at least one child under 5 years of age,

Are any other members available to help and support fuzzybbear please? Do stay on the forum for support. Thank you and best wishes.