Didn't know where to turn to! Hope you don't mind me ranting here I'm really struggling at the moment with postnatal depression (my daughter is 5mths old). I'm on antidepressants, which are OK but I think I need to up the dose. Generally I've just been getting by, my daughter brings me so much happiness but I can't help but feel so sad and lonely (I'm a single mum). After battling with my conscience since I found out I was pregnant and waiting to hear back from the baby's father (he never did contact), I decided that my daughter deserves to know who her father is. Tried to contact him again and again, to no avail. In my stupid head, I thought it would be a good idea to message his wife (I never knew about her by the way... He told me he was single, and it was a one night stand... You don't really question that do you?). So, I messaged her and asked her to get him to contact me. She replied, asking who I was and why I wanted to speak to her husband (colourful language used of course, her not me). I'd planned how to deal with it in my head, how the conversation would go and I completely messed it all up. She called me, basically to give me abuse. She screamed at me, screamed at him, he denied ever saying he was going to contact me again (he actually told me at the time that he needed to get his head around it and would be in touch... He never did). She's put all of the blame on me, which I understand as she is very upset but I tried to reason with her, I told her I had no idea he was married, I told her it was a one night stand and I told her I just wanted to do right by my daughter.
I can't help but feel like such an awful person, I wanted to deal with it delicately but my stupid feelings and frustrations took over. I literally feel like the worst person in the world right now, I've upset her and turned her life upside down. It makes it worse as they have children too.