Love addiction and abandonment issues

[hylaaa]

Hi! I think I am struggling with love addiction and the fear of being abandoned.

Since childhood my father used to tell me that it was clear my worst fear was being lonely, and because of that I was insecure and with low self esteem. I did nothing to fix these problems and my father didn't help me at all. It is true, I can't stand being by myslef, I hate days (especially evenings) in which I am alone and I don't have friends around.

In my relationship I feel pathetic. I am jealous and over controlling. I constantly need my partner to say he loves me and to care for me. I am happy whenever I can help him, and when he appreciates me, his msgs give me euphoria. After a fight or whenever there are issues to discuss, I feel empty and i can not sleep nor eat until I hear from him again.

Since we are in long distance, I decided not to write to him nor call him for some time, cause I feel complitely hollow inside after some days of discussions and uncertainty. Does anybody can give me some advice about how to heal from this and how to become and independent young lady please?

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello hylaaa and welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way. It may be a good idea to start with small steps in building up your self confidence and self esteem. Do you have interests that you enjoy and make you feel happy? Joining a group of people who have mutual interests can be really good for all of us. They help us enjoy what we do and to feel good about ourselves. This, in turn, raises our confidence and self esteem. I know you are not in the UK, but you may like to have a look at the following website which could be helpful to you-- mind.org.uk/information-sup.... This looks at many of the issues you are experiencing and looks at ways to deal with these. Be kind to yourself. See your friends and enjoy the time you spend with them. You have a lot to offer and will soon feel more confident, and this includes with relationships too. Please stay on the forum to receive support from other members. Are there any members who can help hylaaa, please? Thank you and best wishes.