All I wanted to have is a Baby

Im 26 and my little one is 15 months.

I got pregnant with my new boyfriend within 3months. He still living with me and my baby.

Yes I am veey lucky that He didnt go away once He knew I am pregnant.

But, this is the case I have a long time boyfriend before him almost 4years t

he and his whole family become supportive to me ever since but when I got a kob after I graduated We need to have a long distance relationship since He is living in quite far place. Upon our distance I got manipulated by the people whom I give ny trust most. They feed my mind that my boyfriend is not the best guy for me and so on. To cut the long story short I broke up with him.

After that I start dating many men different men. And I started to date many guys I even slept with my close friend just to fill the emptiness of losing my long time boyfriend.

That time I decide to put things back the way it was, I know im heading at the wrong path and I decided to have a baby thinking that I might have a best reason for me to start up a new life coz I know im not going anywhere.

Then I met the father of my son in 3 months I got pregnant. He didnt leave us until now.

But I am very very confused right now.

The memories that I had with the family of my lon time boyfriend and our memories keeps on coming back.

What if, I had a baby with him. What if I didn't have a baby right now? Are we still getting back to each other.

I dont know if I still love my exboyfriend but Even though the situation is really different.

And I cant even help myself compare the family background of my ex boyfriend with the father of my son. I know its not right but. I am very very confused right now.

I feel sorry for myself.There is nothing to do with my son I love him and I will provide his needs. But I dont know how I can possibly give him the complete family that he deserved with this situation..

Im si hopeless. I think Im also starting to be crazy I really need to seek help. I hope people in this comunity will help me.

10 Replies

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  • Sometimes i think we all are guilty of thinking what if about our lives and asking if i had stayed with him/her is probably the most common question we ask ourselves.

    the answer deep down we know whether we left for right or wrong reasons it felt right to seperate from this person and although we may look and think how lovely some parts of the relationship was all ofbit couldnt have been rosy or we would have stayed.

    you have a beautiful baby and the only way is forward...whether that be with a current partner or alone until mr. Right comes along. You will find the strength to make good choices your babies smile will show you that whatever you decide he loves you .

    you said also that sons dad hasnt left until now..do you mean he is still there. He has left..or are you planning to end relatiinship ?

  • We are currently leaving together. And through this situation I know that there is something wrong about me. I act strange, I loss temper most of the time and I cannot give his needs due to this state in my heart and mind. But I dont wanna hurt him. But, I am also not sure if I will marry him in soonest time.

    I really dont know what to do..

    I do thank you for your kind respond this really means alot to me.

  • Hi there this is a Depression Support Forum and to be honest I think yours is a relationship problem, I think you are better off going to relationship Counselling and try to work on your self esteem as well and then you will know what you want. Are you Depressed? Or just confused over your life?

    Hannah

  • Unfortunately your relationship was just starting when you found out you were pregnant, but the fact that your partner stuck by you and is still there when you say you loose your temper sounds to me that he is committed to this family. Thats what you are a family. Your son just wants a mum and dad who love him and that's what he has

    It sounds to me that your more in love with your ex boyfriends family than your ex boyfriend. Leave him in the past where he belongs. Remember its not the quantity of family but the quality that your son needs, it sounds like he has two loving parents.

    So try to focus on every precious moment with your son (they grow up so fast) and leave the past where it belongs.

    Take care of yourself and your family.

    P

  • Hi,

    This isn't really a relationship advice site, it's a community to discuss depression issues. So I'm not sure we will have the best advice for you.

    I think Photogeek makes a good suggestion above, relationship counselling is probably the best thing to do.

  • Your ex Boyfriend is not the Babies Father, the Father of your Son is still around, now you need to consider your Child and make it good for him. You both have responsibilities to your Son work on that and do not make anymore errors that will affect the child you brought into the world.

    We are here for people with Depression, you both need the help of a Councillor, Have words with your GP, He will put you in touch with an Organisation in your area who will give support

    BOB

  • You have to deal with the facts of your life right now as it is ,not what could have been

    You are privileged to have become a mother

    You must put the wellbeing of your child first which includes your health and happiness too, as if you are unstable and unhappy it will affect him.

    Take one day at a time and do your best to make it a good day for you and your family

    In time it will become clearer what is best for you all

    Have you anywhere you could go for advice/help?

    You would benefit from professional counselling

    Do hope you get the help/clarity you need

    All good wishes..Jenny

  • Ps This may be a depression forum but you sound depressed,confused and unhappy

    From my perspective you are very welcome here

    Surely everyone on this site with depression has had relationship/familial situations which has contributed to their depression.

  • I think everything has happened very fast for you and you have not had the chance to process it all emotionally yet. When a long term relationship ends abruptly it can take almost as long as the relationship lasted for all good feelings to go away. This is not a sign that you made the wrong decision to split up. Maybe if you try to remember the bad things about your ex you will see that you probably made the right choice.

    Hopefully time will help you work out if you are happy with your current partner, if you give it a proper chance and do not mess it up by harping on the past and what might have been. Talk about this to us, or a friend and see if it helps put things in perspective. All the best.

  • Thanks you so much guys for all your help and advices. Yes, this community really helps. To distinguish that I am not depress as I thought. Will keep all your advices in me and hopefully all my worries will go away. Thank you so much. And I also, do wanna apologise that at first I though I am already depress. But, again thank you everyone for letting me know that I am not.