My Doctor is an A-hole

[Holly101]

I've been suffering from pretty bad depression, anxiety, self-harming, hearing voices and actually attempted to take my life a few months ago.

I've since been referred to a psychiatrist, who was, to say the least, less than helpful.

I've been on Trazadone for years and feel they're not doing anything so I suggested to her to maybe change my medication. Her solution was to take me off everything and give me no medication at all.

She had to phone my doctor for that, as she can't prescribe (or un-describe) medication, so I got summoned and seen my doctor.

This psychiatrist already had me walking away in tears last week coz I'd never met her before and she was, I can't think of another word for it, plain nasty.

When I was at my doctors yesterday and described how I feel when I wake up in the morning; pure fear, dread, worry how I'm gonna get through another day, he LAUGHED in my face.

Just as well I'm used to this of him (he did the exact same thing once years ago when I was in severe valium withdrawal as I was selfmedicating and my supply was cut off, he noticed I was very agitated, and when asked why, told him and asked if he could maybe give me a few 5mg valium to taper me off and to stop me from taking seizures, he laughed in my face as well. 'I don't think so' he chuckled.

I'm thinking of not only changing doctors but also putting a complaint in, as I feel he treats me like less than a human being just because of certain problems I have.

Thank you for letting me have a wee rant

Hope you're all well, or as well as can be,

Love and good vibes, Holly x

[Gambit62]

Good that you are managing to use the anger for something positive - definitely change your GP.

whether you bring a complaint is totally up to you but it could be quite a draining process so might be worth leaving it a little while - few days at least - but on the other hand I guess if you leave it too long you'll lose the momentum.

[Holly101 in reply to Gambit62]

Hi Gambit, sorry I've not been on here for so long..

I'm not really in a hurry to do it, as this has been going on for years. But this was just the straw, they had a locum at his practice I was seeing for nearly a year, instead of him, and that's when I realised I don't have to let myself be treated the way he treats me.

She was absolutely lovely, and done more for me than this guy has done for me in the whole 12 years he's been my doctor.

I know I've made mistakes and, well and nothing really, who doesn't make mistakes?

That doesn't mean I should be treated like less than a human being, and it was that locum that made me see that.

I hope you're keeping well,

Love Holly Xx

[Gambit62 in reply to Holly101]

There was an article in the papers saying that people should complain more about bad treatment when they get bad treatment and it certainly sounds as if your GP really doesn't have the right skills to be dealing with cases like yours and probably needs to know that.

Not really sure how things are at the moment. Have a day off today so can just veg - and do some CPD (continuing professional development) - course on UK GAAP (Generally Agreed Accounting Principles) has just become available so doing that ... really sad or what Kittens are lovely - though found out last night that the other boy from the litter has worked out how to use the cat flap now - comes in, uses the loo, has a nosh and then goes out - don't think he's sleeping here yet It's the coming in to use the litter tray that I don't really get but then I'm not a cat. Still haven't seen the boyfriend since the heart attack ... was hoping may be this weekend but sounds like he can't really drive yet. Work is quite stressful as well - reorganisations in other teams - not enough resources in mine and a degree of medium term uncertainty about whether I will have a job - mind you I'll probably really need to move on to something else before that becomes an issue so little stressed about it but not climbing the walls.

Take care of yourself.

[Hidden in reply to Gambit62]

sounds like he views the litter tray as his but is too scared to sleep indoors, perhaps because of the other cats? We have one who comes in to eat and then goes because the others bully her. Was he the runt of the litter, the least assertive, etc? Glad you are ok otherwise. Suexx

[Gambit62 in reply to Hidden]

He isn't actually one of my kittens - but he is the brother of one of my kittens - they were born 2 doors down. The remaining sister hasn't managed to figure out the cat flap - they don't have one two doors down - but I guess it is just a question of time - hey! ho!

[Hidden in reply to Gambit62]

Aah, how sweet, I love cats.xx

[Photogeek in reply to Gambit62]

Hi Gambit your story about kitten coming in to use

Litter tray is a scream. They are so funny ' my cat Luna has

Two lovely comfy beds and yet she loves to sleep in a hard

Plastic box.

You are great the way you do stuff for yourself and

Don't mope around. It seems like you have your worries

But you are coping very well.

Have a good weekend.

Hannah

[Gambit62 in reply to Photogeek]

Thanks Hannah for the bit about not moping - though I have to admit that I do have my moments and there have been a few times recently when I've just wanted to throw all of my toys out of the pram

[Holly101 in reply to Gambit62]

Just throw em out now and again, feels great

You can always apologise after and say you were slightly out of order (only if you were mind you!), but I love having a good childish rant now and again, and afterwards me and whoever else was there usually end up having a laugh about it..

Love Holly Xx

[Holly101 in reply to Gambit62]

Hi Gambit,

Oh you made me laugh about the cat there, coming in to use the littertray, it probably thinks,well I've been taught that's where I need to do the toilet so that's where I shall do it!

Usually cat's are cleverer than that

Yeah, I'll definitely put a complaint in about my GP, I've been putting up with this long enough now, and I know I'm not the only one he treats like that..

I've no idea what Generally Agreed Accounting Principles entails, but I'm sure it's not sad, and hey, at least you're doing SOMETHING!

Unlike me, I just plod along and am happy enough if I make it through a day without

any major mishaps or drama's..

Hope you have a nice weekend, take it easy and I'm wishing your boyfriend all the best too, hope you get to see him soon!

Take care of yourself,

Love, Holly Xxx

[Jeffju]

You should be treated with respect no matter what your problem is. I think it would be a good idea to change doctors and write a formal complaint about this one. I bet if he had to live as you do everyday he would soon do something about it. They really don't understand the torment and fear...... no-one can unless you have been there.

Thinking of you, Julie xx

[Holly101 in reply to Jeffju]

Oh Jeffju, that's exactly what I've been thinking to myself recently, constantly! Word for word, if only they would know what it feels like, if they could experience those feelings even just for a day, they

would take you serious wouldn't they?

Just because you can't physically see it, doesn't mean it hurts just as much, and can be just as life-threatening..

Thanks Jeffju, hope you're well too and life's treating you ok..

Love and peace, Holly Xxx

[Hidden in reply to Jeffju]

I agree with this comment Holly and I think you should maybe write to the magazine Asylum as well

Suexxx

[Holly101 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Sue! what's magazine Asylum? I've never heard of it?

Love Holly Xxxx

[Hidden in reply to Holly101]

Hi, It's an anti-psychiatry magazine that has been going for years and many of the people who write in it hear voices, you can find it by searching on google, I've just checked. It's edited in Sheffield and is really good. Suexxx

[Holly101 in reply to Hidden]

Ow nice one, thanks for the tip Sue, I'll defo look it up!

Hope your well and having a good day

Love, Holly Xxx

[Golfer15]

Hi Holly Good to hear from you although you sound as though you are having problems. You should definately find a new gp. Hope you get your meds sorted out.

Im feeling a bit low at the moment. I put a message on here the other day. I feel life is so dull!

I had been feeling better lately. Thats why I havent been on here but recently this dark mood hit me. I know you understand and I understand your feelings entirely that you put on your message. Good luck and take care.

David

[Holly101 in reply to Golfer15]

Hi David!

I know, I've not been on here much myself, just in one of those 'can't be bothered' modes, as in can't be bothered doing absolutely anything, and only do the things I can't get away with not doing, and even struggle to get them done..

I'm sorry to hear you've not been feeling too good either.. It's a crap time of the year as well, everything is grey and dull and boring..

But then when too many things go on we're not happy either, coz we end up freakin out coz it's too much haha!

Never a happy medium is there..

I'm definitely gonna try and get another GP, I've really had enough of this clown!

Take care David, I'll start dropping you a wee line again more often, just to keep in touch

Love, Holly Xxx

[Suzie40]

That's absolutely awful. It doesn't matter what problems you have or don't have, he has a duty of care and that involves treating you without judgement. How dare he laugh at you! I'd have probably burst out crying. You poor thing, Holly. What other options do you have? Is there another GP you can see? X

[Holly101]

Hi Lucy,

Awk I've had this man for 12 years, so I let these things go right over my head now coz I'm so used to it,

but once I was outside I thought to myself, that's pretty f-in unprofessional, and I've been puttibg up with this for years and years, and I shouldn't really have to!

I'd been self-harming and kind of absent-mindedly picked a scab of my arm while I was sitting in the waiting-room (sorry if that sounds a bit disgusting lol), and when I was in his practice-room I could feel the blood trickling down my arm so I asked him for a plaster, which he didn't have.

A doctor without a plaster.

So I put a bit of tissue on it, it was quite a gash and could probably have done with a stitch or two, but he said, aw have you been scratching yourself again..

That's when I just tuned out and let the blood drip on the floor and left a lovely trail on my way out.

Definitely time to try and get a different GP eh?

How have you been Lucy? Feels like I haven't spoke to you for ages!!

Hope you're ok, and not suffering too much from the days getting colder, shorter and darker like so many of us do,

and that life's being kind to you..!

Speak soon,

Love n hugs, Holly Xxx

[Suzie40 in reply to Holly101]

You should have said 'Yes I've been scratching, and I'm quite tempted to scratch your eyes out, too!'

I'm alright thanks, not been a great day, but I shouldn't complain! Nice to see you posting again xx

[Holly101 in reply to Suzie40]

Lol I know, and I should've done it too! And than said; 'Does that hurt?', 'well that's how I feel inside!'

It's good too be back on here, I've missed yez all!

Sorry you didn't have too good a day, hopefully today was better!

Love, Holly Xxx

[Jeffju]

It is such a frightening and , at times, lonely illness and we are very strong people with having to live like this day in and day out. You would at least expect some understanding from a doctor but they just don't seem to get it. My psychologist was great as he had experienced depression and was so understanding and so very helpful and positive. I am not an overly religious person but I do pray every night and include all of my friends on here in my prayers and hope for better days for us all. Hang on in there ... Love Julie xx

[Holly101]

Thanks Julie :),

That's great, having a psychologist who's been through it himself, I don't think people can truly understand things fully unless they've been through it themselves..

Mine is an old hag, apparently its a 'tough love' approach, well I don't really need any tough love at the moment,

I've had quite enough of that thank you very much..

Just some help and understanding would be enough, someone who listens and takes me serious..

Oh well, I'm definitely changing my doctor, and see how I get on with this psychologist next time I see her..

Have a good weekend Julie,

Lotsa love, Holly Xxxx

[Hidden]

Holly, I've been thinking and I wonder whether you could write to your GP explaining in not too long a letter what you feel your problems are, what you would find helpful and how you felt on the visit - nothing too lengthy, just a clear explanation. If you think you were unreasonable in any way you can say that and apologise for it but also be clear about how you felt in response to the way you were treated and why you think it was not helpful. Often what goes on between patients and health care professionals is down to misunderstandings, lack of clear communication and people not hearing one another properly. If that doesn't have any positive response then I would definitely change GPs. Suexx

[Holly101]

Awk no, we're way past that.. This man isn't gonna change, and I know for a fact I didn't do or say anything unreasonable, apart from asking for a plaster.

I didn't storm out, or bite, or even show any anger, as I'm so used to being treated like this by him, all

it did was make me decide that it's finally time to change doctors, coz he definitely hasn't got my best interests

at heart.

I never knew this before because I didn't have anyone to compare him to, but now that I have one or two people

who are actually trying to help me, it's helped me see that he's definitely not one of them!

No, this is one relationship that's beyond salvaging..

Lotsa love, Holly Xxxx