Hi, I have a 14-year-old daughter who I adore but unfortunately was the result of a one night stand. I hate calling it a one night stand because it was not something I had thought of when I went out that night. Is there anyone out there in the same circ_mstances?? Someone who go pregnant from a one night stand and can not find the father. I feel so alone in this and like such a terrible person. I wish I could find the guy, to tell him he has a child more than anything. I want my child to know who their father is. I feel terrible all the time because my child will not know who their father is
I only knew his first name and not much about him really. I was young and very gullible and naive. I tried all means of contacting him even went back to his friend's house where we had our one-night stand 9 years later. A friend of a friend said he contacted him in regards to me having his daughter and would let me know. However to this day no information, I don't even know if he actually contacted him or was just lying?? I requested his number and he refused to give it to me..sooo???. The only information I have gathered is that he has a younger brother, is Nigerian and in a new relationship (perhaps married) or gone abroad. I don know just feel so confused.
I feel ashamed of myself with an unsettled mind and pricked conscience. Though I am very proud along with her grandparents and aunt that my daughter now 14 is doing well at school, always has been. She is in the top sets in compulsory subjects such Maths, English and in Science for her GSCE's and recently got into year 10 work experience commencing ending of June to July 2018. I am equally doing good graduated from my Masters last year...
My parents were disappointed at first when they found out I was pregnant at 15. My dad when my daughter turned 1 years old was like angry and told me to stop hiding her dad (he had in his mind that I was trying to protect him from being identified?. We even went to the area and place where I said we had sex and everybody we knocked the door they were confused?? it was one-night stand at his friends..which was not far from where i lived at the time with my family.
Though my parents have come to terms that I don't know where her father lives or his entire name? what a shame. I have lived with this guilt for 14 years going on 15 at the age of 30.
My younger sister who is 24 acts more like a big sister towards my daughter perhaps due to the closeness in age. I think she also carries the burden of my pain that my daughter dad didn't want to know. after several attempts calling his friend to find out and he said he had not heard from him that he does not want to know?? I am so confused about everything. I did not receive counselling I don't know what to do.
What is weird and I find very discombobulating is that my daughter has never once asked me about her dad for her 14 years of existence?? I am scared what could be going on?? She is very emotionally mature and intelligent so I don't know if that has anything to do with it?
I had to seek on the internet who else could possibly be in this situation and have stumbled across this forum which I was forced to join as needed to express myself and seek advice...
Thank you for taking the time to read this,