I need direction

[drkitch]

I don’t know what wrong with me. I am constantly working, I have a heart of gold, I’m impulsive, I’ve been situationally depressed when significant things happen in my life. Eg. Separation and divorce, breakup, eviction, daughter wanting nothing to do with me. I will create completely unrealistic goals and will know this but determined to complete the goal and when I cannot I get angry and cause a situation where I will need to leave the environment. Eg. During a work shift whenever anyone will ask me to complete a task I will agree even if I cannot complete, I see it as a challenge but will leave the day feeling like a failure. Failure affects me and knowing this will not stop me from repeating the same mistakes. I seriously cannot help it and now it’s getting to the point where I am affecting everyone around me. I am losing friendships, jobs, to the point where I feel like I’m a tornado and whatever I touch will be destroyed. So now isolation is the best course because I can keep my world small and I won’t feel obligated to accept tasks or help. But it’s lonely and then this makes me sad. What’s wrong with me and what can I do?

[Mandiet]

Hi I'm in same situation as yourself my son wants nothing to do with me he had a baby 5 months ago whom I've not even seen, go to ur GP I have been diagnosed with Extreme Anxiety and they have just today up my dose to 200mg sertaline as I'm grieving for my younger brother still who passed away 5 years ago now aged 32 I just can't seem to get over it I still cry now for him plus it doesn't help with my son. I was always angry. I find being at work helps me but I like being on my own my boss is fantastic I'm on a shift where I just work on my own. Your not alone but go to ur GP x

[rockiette]

I could have written this. I am right there with you.

[drkitch]

What can the GP possibly do? Give me a scrip?

[Mandiet in reply to drkitch]

Yes they will give you something I'm sure

[drkitch in reply to Mandiet]

What I don’t understand is how come people are on medication for mental health are still having mental health issues? It’s like I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t. Please don’t let my message allow anyone to think that I’m closing my mind but rather with open arms. I really need to understand this.

[Hidden]

Hi! I'm sorry you are struggling. Sometimes I wonder why the nice people and those of us who go out of our way to help others suffer the most?! I sort of know where you are coming from. I didn't deal with all that you have but I had my own problems in life and a lot of the issues are internal. I suggest you read a book called boundaries because I believe a lot of us don't have healthy boundaries. We don't know when to say no or are afraid to say no because we feel like the other person will be upset with us. The book called Boundaries when to say yes when to say no to take control of your life is a book I was recommended to read by my counselor. I think it will help you!

[drkitch in reply to Hidden]

Do you know the author?

[Hidden in reply to drkitch]

Oh yes I was going to write the author and for some reason didn't! Sorry about that. It's Henry Cloud and John Townsend

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi drkitch and welcome to the forum. It sounds as though you may be putting yourself under a lot of pressure when you state that you create unrealistic goals. It may help you to take a step back when you begin to think about your next goal and think about if this can be achieved. If you decide it can not be achieved, it does not matter. Please do not feel like you have failed in any way because you have not. A challenge is a good thing, but only if it is realistic. As mandiet suggested, it may be helpful to you to see your GP who can help and support you. Some counselling may help you. It may also help you to set a few very small achievable goals. Please continue to post on the forum where you will receive help and support from other members. Thank you and best wishes.

[drkitch in reply to MAS_Nurse]

That’s the problem. I can’t stop. If I have 20 dollars, but I need 30 dollars, then someone will come up to me and needs 20 dollars I will give that person the 20 because I don’t have 30 and it’s better fo someone to achieve their needs as opposed to no one. Is that a normal thought process or and I of the majority?

[drkitch]

I will make an appointment with my family doctor tomorrow. I have done this before, they would put me on the latest, then my environment will change and then I will go off it on my doctors advisement. Then I’ll walk the tightrope until a new bad situation will arise. It’s like I’m just a wimp that can’t handle stress, yet I am super patient. Until I hit that breaking point then I will get hopeless, centred out, overreact, then avoid. Then when looking back, it’s “D did this and did that” focusing on the last thing that happened and not the 1,2, or 10 years or my patience and overlooking other people’s faults and uhhhgghgg. I’m so tired/

[Ehsanbey]

Hey dude, I know I'm quite late to the topic but just intented to say you are just a beautiful and warm heart being but you need to focus on yourself more, that is it, plus I had and have some sort of your problem, so you are not alone, take more time with yourself know yourself more explore yourself and find out about who you really are and what really makes you happy.