Mental Health

[aw1912]

I’m new here so wasn’t too sure if I should post. I’m feeling really low today, I don’t want to be like this anymore, why do these thoughts go through my head? I can’t put up with it for much longer. Is there a way to get rid of these thoughts?

[Clarebear86]

Hi, can you tell us what type of thoughts you have been having? Or is it too much at the minute. It’s ok, you have done really well to share what you have. You’ll find a lot of people have thoughts and feelings they don’t understand on here. If it helps I can tell you and share some of my thoughts to put you at ease? Have you or can you speak to anyone close to you about these thoughts? Have you talked to a doctor?

[aw1912 in reply to Clarebear86]

Hi Clare, I’ve thought about self harm and suicide loads, especially when it gets too much. I’ll sometimes take myself to the bathroom or bedroom and cry, people realise that I’ve been crying but never the other feelings.

That would be great if you could share yours, I’ve never had a conversation like this so it’s a bit new. I can speak to my wife, and we’ve mentioned it in the past, I’m just scared to admit those feelings. I’ve though that about talking to a doctor but I never have.

Thank you

[Clarebear86 in reply to aw1912]

I used to have frequent thoughts of jumping in front of metros when I went to go to work. I somehow convinced myself they were normal and would dismiss it and push it aside, because I have a daughter to live for. I would have recurring thoughts of what my funeral would be like and who would come, that my family would be better off without me. This went on for a long time. My husband had concerns, which I dismissed. If you read some of my posts you’ll get the jist of what was the final straw for me. I never told anyone about these thoughts. One of my close friends told me she was clinically depressed and would talk about her thoughts and feelings and I drew similarities between the two and opened up to her. I went to the doctor and opened up and told her everything. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but it was also the right thing to do.

[aw1912 in reply to Clarebear86]

I have so many similar thoughts - tablets, windows, knives. It’s scary how common they are but like you said, they get pushed aside. I have my wife, my stepson, my daughter and a baby on the way. But sometimes it feels so dark and depressing there’s no way out.

I haven’t told anyone before, I’ve kept it to myself for so long but it’s bursting out now. I want to go to the doctor but I’ve wanted to for ages. I know it’s the right thing to do, I’m just scared

[Zoea in reply to aw1912]

oh my god Talk To Someone (your GP or community mental health team) and GET HELP! There's no stigma attached and there's no reason AT ALL that you should be suffering such thoughts! I'll reply again when I've read the full conversation here. But get help PLEASE it's so sad so many people are like "oh I feel like X but I don't know that Z exists so I do A"

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi Adamjmwoods and welcome to the forum. As Clarebear86 mentioned, you have done really well to share your thoughts. Please take the next step and make an appointment to see your GP to discuss how you are feeling. He/she will be able to offer help and support. Many people find it helpful to write down how they are feeling. Don't be afraid to admit how you are feeling, as this is such an important step towards recovery. Continue to talk to your wife. I am sure she would want you to do this. She could go along to the GP appointment with you as this may help. If you are feeling distressed, please phone the Samaritans [Freephone 116 123] 24 hour helpline 7 days a week. They provide a listening ear. Please do stay on the forum where you will receive support from other members who understand how you are feeling. You are not alone. Take care and best wishes.

[Clarebear86]

When I told the doctor, they told me to tell my husband. All I thought was how? How do I admit this and tell someone I love I have had these thoughts and have days where I feel I just don’t want to be here anymore. My friend was there when I told him. I knew his reaction would be firstly about our daughters safety, so be prepared for something like that. My thoughts never extended to hurting anyone else and she was always the reason I pushed them aside. Please do go talk to the doctor.

[Zoea]

OK read the thread not much else but I agree talk to your GP in the first instance, OR your local community mental health team (you can actually do this in a local ER i). I know there are people out there who can help you, who have spent decades of their lives training to help you.

Thoughts? I know they are scary sometimes but every thought is actually constructive even if you don't recognise it as so it's perhaps about the future or past but it's always relevant. To fix them (lol) you need to just get the correct treatment, it might be Cognitive Behavioural Therapy , it might be some mild antidepressants, it might be counselling, it might be an honest in depth conversation with a psychiatrist from your local Community Mental Health team, it might be close to anything but don't feel your thoughts are out of your control when you are in a good place. Pick a path and take it for your future. Take the opportunity to get some help that you need. Talk to your GP. If they don't help shout at them and get another GP and talk to that GP. If they don't help - well you get the idea, another GP!

I hope you feel better now and that thing improve for you. Best wishes

N