I’ve recently experienced a series of mental health crises - usually just extreme low mood but sometimes my anxiety becomes unbearable too. I find it ironic that for someone who absolutely hates hospitals, I’ve found myself there 6 times in the space of a few months - all for things completely avoidable and self inflicted (self harm, overdoses etc). There have been a couple of time where I haven’t physically hurt myself, but have visited A&E as instructed by my mental health team as I’ve been feeling so low that I have little confidence in my ability to keep myself safe.
I find on these occasions, doctors/nurses can be really insensitive. I have been told ‘you don’t want to kill yourself, you’re too young’ as if the two are mutually exclusive. Other times I have found my visits quite degrading and undignified (ie nurses talking openly in front of other patients about how I’m feeling). More recently, when I needed stitches, the nurse said to me ‘you obviously like pain so I assume you don’t need me to numb you’. Anyway, I completely feel for doctors, it must be so difficult to work in that environment while the NHS is being stripped of resources, I do, however think that nurses aren’t adequately trained to deal with people who attend A&E as a result of a mental health crisis.
I have been working with my CPN to agree a new crisis plan and I have said to him that I will not go to A&E again if I am in crisis as the experience leaves me feeling worse. I worry about this though because I don’t have an alternative. I have no idea what I’m going to do if things get that bad again. Does anyone have any ideas? Has anyone else had a similar experience?
As an aside, I have called the Samaritans before but that never seems to work for me - I find that talking about my problems just leaves me feeling vulnerable and exposed.