Update

[BonelessSproot]

Hi. I feel so much better when I share with people I don't know. I feel that almost everyone here can understand better than people who actually know me. I love you hah.

So I've told my mom before about my situation. And she said it was normal and I'm overreacting. And Itold her again a few days ago, "I think I need to talk to somebody about this". I haven't told her everything though, about my thoughts on death and all the *extreme* stuff. Only that I feel worthless, stupid and that I feel like im going crazy sometimes. I wouldn't care that much about it if it wouldn't affect my life. She still believes the same.

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I was talking with my boyfriend recently and I suddenly felt terrible: I'm stupid,I'm worthless, why do I even deserve to have people who love me, I'm afraid im going to hurt someone or someone gets hurt or that I am going to get hurt etc . I was acting weird, trying not to, failed, he didn't understand what's wrong with me and all I said was sorry, for going crazy. I can't control it when it's happening. And it's tiring. It's been three days now that I'm in the "crazy mode". It's going to stop after a week or two and I will "forget" everything.

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I hate myself and I feel like a monster in a human body. Haha.

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I hate talking about those feelings because I feel like I'm whiny. And taking everything too seriously. And overreacting. I can't even write like I usually do, my thoughts are racing, I can't concentrate and I don't care.

I think I'm also a bit anxious lately because I have to work a job I hate and go to school and prepare for my final exams which I don't think I'm going to pass anyway. (p.s. These exams are importand to get you to a uni here)

Anyway sorry.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi BonelessSpirit welcome to the forum and there is no need to be sorry. It is good that you feel that people on the forum understand how you are feeling. It is also good that you have spoken to your mum about how you are feeling. You are valued and deserve for people to love you. You sound very anxious and I think it may help if you book an appointment to see your doctor to discuss how you are feeling. Please continue to talk to your mum about how you are feeling. Try and be open with her about all of your feelings. I am sure she would want you to do this . Have a look at the Pinned Posts to the right of the screen which you may find helpful. Please do not feel you are being "whiny"Do discuss how you are feeling with your GP who will be able to support you. I am sorry to hear you don't like your job and have concerns about your exams. It is more difficult for you to feel positive about these at present because you feel so anxious. Could you talk to your teachers about your concerns? They may be able to help. You are not alone and please stay on the forum to receive support from other members. Best wishes.

[salfnd in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Hi BonelessSpirit, Welcome great you reached out to us... Please dont ever say Sorry for your feelings, thats one thing you should never do. Im a bit concerned about when you said about might hurt yourself or someone else, Have you had feelings about doing this? I really think you should go to your dr straight away and tell them how your feeling as i think you are overwhelmed with your exams, your Anxiety as well isnt helping you, and it feels as if its all getting to much for you. Firstly I dont think your crazy i just feel you need some help with some counselling and maybe some antidepressants .. Please seek advice from your Gp.... xxx