Do any of you find yourself staring at a wall? It's like in that moment you feel no emotion. Nothing. Like everything you've ever felt is completely lost. I feel this way today. I feel like laying in bed and staring at the window in front of me. I don't feel like going out. Do you also ever wish for death? I find myself in some situations where I wouldn't care if I died. I'm not 100% suicidal rn, but in some ways I feel it there. I wish I could go to sleep and my heart would stop beating. Death seems peaceful, like nothing could ever bother me again. Nobody could ever hurt me. I wouldn't be scared anymore. Some days I wish to be taken. Others, I pray my brain won't overcome my body. It's a hard fricken life when you're trying to survive the thoughts in your head.
Nothing.: Do any of you find yourself... - Mental Health Sup...
Nothing.
I understand exactly what you mean, I've had these feelings too. I have found myself doing that all the time.
Does it feel like a numbness to you? It does to me sometimes.
Yes! Emotional numbness is what I feel rn
mInileah
Have you worked out why the emotional numbness, I get it generally something bad happens, I become very cold and unresponsive.
Even when I lost family members it had no real effect on me, my family knew I could not grieve and I was always given to looking after family when Prognosis was bad,
Once I had looked after the person and made arrangements they would then take over. I looked upon myself as the Angel of Death.
BOB
The main reason why I feel the numbness is mostly bc I'm so upset I can't feel anything anymore but the wish for death.
That's me everyday. I feel you ~
Hello. I'm certain everyone who has lived has felt at some point, what's the point? Your feelings are natural but I am worried that as in previous posts depression is beginning to overwhelm you again.
As I've said, I've just had a quick look at posts and I know you mentioned a therapist before. Have you got an appointment soon?
I know that you don't have an easy relationship with your mum, has things become difficult for you to cope with?
Always reach out on this site for emotional support and help. There are lots of people going through the same sort of feelings as you.
Is there anything you can do to focus on something else so you can let these feelings pass?
If you need immediate help please message me to talk. Alternatively if you can access support through a helpline please do that.
This emotional emptiness is part of depression and if your symptoms aren't improving make an appointment to see a doctor as soon as possible.
My depression didn't fully leave me, I just got a bit better. Since I had that incident where I forgot to take my meds, I went back on them ... yet I still felt suicidal. It's weird. I just had my appt an hour or two ago, so I feel a tad bit better. I just wouldn't mind dying rn.
I can empathise, that's how I was feeling at the weekend. Bit ambivalent about life really but no real plans to act. The thing is your mood can dip quickly once you feel like that so please look after yourself. Good that you saw your therapist and that they helped.
We are all here for you x
thank you so much for your support. It means a lot to me ❤️
If you are feeling Suicidal you need to discuss that with your GP You can also contact NHS Information Line on Tel 111 and explain your concerns.
If it is a talking point my only concern if what if I die and find it is even worse than living. Can you imagine it, You pass over and you find yourself back at home and no-one can see or hear you, your Spirit bounces around the house as you listen to what everyone thought about you. Or if a Partner finds someone new and takes them back to your old home.
You can float just of the ceiling in the corner of the room, nothing to do just watch and listen
Would drive me mad
BOB
I mean I see what you're saying but I don't believe in that 😂 interesting thought tho
I attempted Suicide and was rushed to hospital, they brought me back using some very unpleasant treatments. The only people who will suffer are the ones you leave behind, people and family go through many emotions including blaming themselves for your actions.
When they bring you back you will have to explain why you tried to waist yourself and like in my household my Wife was unable to trust me and that now has gone on for about ten years, She has never lost that distrust and anger regards my attempt and now keeps hold of my medications and phones my Mental Health Team when She gets worried about me.
I am pushed to be active all the time and I have to follow interests that divert me from negative thoughts. They chase to keep me busy and are frightened if I get upset or stressed. I am pushed hard and watched for any sign of negative mood change.
BOB
Me personally I wouldn't flirt with death
I'm just putting out there how I feel rn.
And that's good that you felt able to share how you feel. We all understand just want you to stay safe.
I cannot even explain how often I've felt like this. Sometimes Ilol have 50 million things to do, the house is upside down and I'm working on a time limit; yet I'll just stay sat, staring. Like my body is drained but my brain is on overload. Others look in from the outside and see me doing nothing, but in my head there's just too much happening to do anything else. Some mornings I wake up and feel almost euphoric at everything life entails, other mornings I wake up and almost ache to die. You're not alone
thank goodness you feel it too. I wasn't sure if many others felt the same way, so it kinda makes me feel better.
I'm glad. I feel so alone in the way I feel the majority of the time, like people don't feel things the same way I do. I know how much understanding can lift a weight off your shoulders, even if it's only a small one
Searching
If you need to spit it out we are here to help
BOB
If I need to spit it out?
Searching
It is an unfortunate term to use, my CPN would use it if She thought I was holding back on something. Thirty years ago
I suppose I am from an older generation, nearing sixty seven. We use different terms and sayings than the younger generations.
You have different sayings and words we find strange
We are really here for you if you need that support
BOB
We do understand. Staring at Walls, or just generally into space is one of my favourite hobbies when I'm depressed. Not helped by the fact I don't sleep so end up in a stupor. You are definitely not alone and it's quite common in depression. We are all normal in our own unique way!
it's become mine too. Every time I get rly upset, I end up staring at a wall. Quite weird only bc I never do that lol
Hi Minileah1218, Please be reassured that you are not alone. There are people on the forum who are able to give help and support. Please make an appointment to see your doctor to discuss these feelings as soon as you can. Have a look at the pinned posts to the right of the screen and contact the Samaritans Helpline [tel 116 123] 24 hour helpline. Do stay in touch with the forum and let us know how you are doing. Best wishes.
I feel somewhat better rn, but I still feel extreme thoughts like I wouldn't care to die. It haunts me every day .. but at least I'm able to get through it. The only way I can is going to sleep tbh. That way my mind can't process anything that's going on in the world & I'm not thinking. Just sleeping
I feel like that a lot. The constant daily struggle is there daily. It started in childhood and remained. Only working out helps get rid of it. But it comes back. It is from cold-hearted family and endless rejection. I think death will resolve it but I don't have the guts to try suicide. Just one day at a time.
sometimes it just feels way too hard for me to go day by day. I honestly just want to give up already
Hello Minileah1218,
I read your post and feel so sad but I completely understand what you are saying. I don't have schizophrenia but sometimes I just feel completely empty inside....like I would be better off dead. Then I would have to battle my anxiety everyday!
Are you taking anything for your issues? Do you have a support group at all to help you w/all of these intense feelings?
I don't have it either but for some reason it was randomly added to symptoms on here 😂 Sorry ab that. I'm currently taking a generic Prozac, and no I don't have a support group. I pretty much just have therapy.
Failure and disappointment are my middle name
Has anyone ever felt like they're almost a completely different person because of their mental illness.
Another day. Why though!!!!????
**Trigger Warning** Looking for Reasons To Live
