Feel terrible

[jsph554]

Can't sleep, couldn't yesterday either, too much painful memories and visualising of painful futures. Not to mention that I'm now hearing people crying when no one is. Except me. Probably missed some medication. Or maybe I was hoping for some companionship, if that makes sense. It feels like it's getting worse, whenever I'm alone I feel down,and there's no escape from it. I know now that suicide would be an illogical step, which would only make things worse. But at least when I had those thoughts it was a way to escape this, even though it would be a stupid one. And I made a promise not to do it, so there's that, not that I'm known for keeping my promises. But I will keep this one.

[tofler]

Hi jsph554, I hope you've managed to get some sleep at last. Sorry to hear that you're being tormented by painful memories, I know what that feels like. With you hearing people crying when nobody is, this sounds like it could be auditory hallucinations so maybe your medication needs to be reviewed by a doctor and the dose adjusted slightly? Please try to remember that suicide doesn't end the pain, it just passed it on to somebody else. There are lots of guided meditations on YouTube which can help us to relax and they sound great if you listen to them via headphones. You might need to try a few till you find one that you like, but they can be very relaxing and soothing. Might be worth a try?