Can't sleep, couldn't yesterday either, too much painful memories and visualising of painful futures. Not to mention that I'm now hearing people crying when no one is. Except me. Probably missed some medication. Or maybe I was hoping for some companionship, if that makes sense. It feels like it's getting worse, whenever I'm alone I feel down,and there's no escape from it. I know now that suicide would be an illogical step, which would only make things worse. But at least when I had those thoughts it was a way to escape this, even though it would be a stupid one. And I made a promise not to do it, so there's that, not that I'm known for keeping my promises. But I will keep this one.