Advise on how I feel

[Miles7552]

Hello,

I’m very new here and I’m hoping I can get some help or advise.

I have very recently admitted to my family work and my doctor that I don’t feel right. I am always in a terrible way. If I’m not angry/annoyed, I’m locked in my own thoughts and can feel myself sinking. No matter what I do I can’t shake of these feeling once I’m stuck.

Don’t get me wrong I have moments when I feel fine. I spend time with my even fe and my young daughter and I feel normal. However I get so tired and drained that I have to take myself away from it. I also distract myself with my computer watching movies, browsing the internet or playing a game. This doesn’t make me feel better but it does stop me from feeling worse.

I used to love walking my dogs and used it as a distraction from everything however now I never want to walk them. I know that I will be alone with my own thoughts and I will get back home in a terrible mood and have to be away from everyone.

I’m in the Army and have been for 14 years. My life has always been incredible busy but since May I have had a lot of down time in work. I have hated it and often look for something to do. I have always loved my Army life but a few month ago I could not even bare to go to work. If it wasn’t for my loyalty I would stayed in bed everyday. This is when I knew I was not right and took some time off to relax. This only made me feel worse so I went to the doctors. And told her all of the above. Now I hate going into work I have nothing to do so I’m stuck in my own head no one to talk to about it as I don’t have any friends here. It’s tearing me up and I do t feel like I’m getting any better of anything is changing.

I have to say the doctor has been amazing but can’t do anything for me. I have an appointment with the mental health team.

I hope this made some sense or put my point across but I’m really confused.

I’m a person who thinks very logically I can’t understand how I’m feeling or why I’m feeling the way I am.

Not sure what I’m looking for but felt I had to put some of me out there.

[Miles7552]

No sure why it has a menstrual problem tag on. Little odd

[Clarebear86]

Hi I’ve been feeling very similar things that you describe above. I used to love my job, I used to enjoy my work. But things changed, there was uncertainty thrown into the mix and constant change which still hasn’t settled down. I now no longer enjoy my work, but still I went and I had other stresses to deal with on top of these changes outside of work, so I didn’t really have any escape. I broke down one evening in tears when my husband told me he wanted to do more individual things, I took this rather badly and told him I was lonely, alone and didn’t have any friends. I felt like he was pulling away from me too. Then I start having suspicions he’s cheating on me, which were confirmed a couple of months ago. I’m now depressed, anxious and on medication to help me try and cope. Any of this sound familiar? Do you have any escape or outlet for your stresses, worries or is it all encompassing like my situation?

[Miles7552 in reply to Clarebear86]

What has happen to you sounds terrible. I wish I had some wise words but I have nothing to offer apart from someone who is happy to hear what you have to say. Feel free to message me if you like.

As for me I don’t know why I feel this way, I don’t know how it started or when it will end. I have never been one to be in touch with my emotions but know I feel empty like I am just a shell.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Miles7552, wishing you a very warm welcome to this community, where there are a lot of people experiencing difficulties in their lives and who can share their story and journey here too for support and friendly advice. I am so sorry to read that you are experiencing such low moods and lack of energy which can often be a sign of depression, once any physical illness is ruled out. Sometimes shutting yourself away from family and people and not wanting to be alone with your thoughts may also indicate very low moods. However, you have taken that first big step, and told your family, work and your doctor how you are feeling. So that is three things you have done to start feeling better and the fourth thing you have done is to write down all your feelings here on this forum. It can help just to keep a journal of our feelings and thoughts and when you get your appointment with the mental health team, you can if you like show them your posts and your journal writing. I am very pleased that your doctor has been so helpful, however if you are waiting a long time for your appointment I would return to your GP to follow this up quickly. And perhaps in the meantime your GP may be able to start you on a course of antidepressant medication and even refer you to counselling. The more support you can access the more it will help you and your family. It would be nice if you could start taking your dogs out for a walk again, even a short walk may help you to feel a bit brighter in yourself. Listen to some music during the walks if you are afraid of thinking too much.

There are a few websites for people in the Armed Forces that may be of help to you.......

gov.uk/guidance/mental-heal...

mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/...

combatsstress.org.uk/ (UK'S Leading Charity)

headstogether.org.uk/partne...

I hope some of these may be of help to you. Please do keep posting here for further support and please let us know how you are getting on. It can take time to start feeling a little better and this is will happen, so try and access support and just take each small step at a time......

my kindest regards and good luck to you.......

best wishes.......

[Miles7552 in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Thank you for the advice I think I will use this forum as a way for saying some of the things I can’t say to people. I have never really opened up to anyone not because I’m Adair’s because I don’t feel I have ever needed too. This will be a tough road for me I’m sure. I hope I come out the other side better for it.

Thank you for the links they are very helpful as a lot of the normal sites don’t really help people in the Army due to different circumstances.

[Clarebear86]

I found myself having down spells at work. Where I just didn’t enjoy it. I’m not sure if it was because I was potentially bored or it grew repetitive. But it would always dissipate in time. I would have these spells at least once every year & I started to notice they grew longer each time I had them, but I was still able to shake it off. Do you find yourself bored or doing repetitive tasks, which could possibly be bringing you down or is it quite varied?

[Vrt14]

To me working is only a way to pay the bills. Please be thankful for your job, you have better benefits than the rest of us. Many jobs are boring. The way I see it, better have a boring job than a stressful job. Use the downtime at work to read books, play brain games and do a variety of puzzles. An idle mind is not good for the soul.