How do you recover after an abusive relationship?

[Ktjjk]

I just got out of a 4 year abusive relationship. They were physically abusive very early on, but for the next three years after that it was only psychological abuse, and that feels much worse to me now. They have left me, and I don't feel like a person anymore. During that 4 years, I lost my best friend of 8 years who couldn't take me anymore because I was so depressed, as well as practically all of my other friends. I shake, I can barely go out, I feel ugly worthless, and completely disposable. I start university as a mature student in a weeks time meaning I move away from my family, and I'm just so scared that I've been having nightmares and panic attacks every day because I feel like everyone will hate me. I just don't know how to shake these feelings and I've tried everything. This is not the person I used to be, and it upsets me to think that this mental abuses repercussions may not be reversible and that I may be broken now. Does anyone have any tips or help or have been in a similar situation?

[DMM218]

It sounds as if your depression is still affecting you. The abuse you went through was wrong. It's badly affected your self esteem and depression keeps twisting that. But, you are strong, you have moved on and are about to do something amazing. University life as a mature student won't have the same social life of heavy drinking but it's still a great social life for you. You can drink heavily if you want!

Don't believe your fear. It's ok to be scared and fearful to plan options for worst case situations but fears are only possible outcomes so don't think that will happen. You may access counseling at university and I recommend you do that just to give you more strength. Good luck

[Trike23]

Being someone who came here for advice I didnt think I could perhaps give some. Heres what I know. Depression makes you lie to yourself. Everything you see is glass half empty. It makes it impossible to see the bright side of anything, anyone but most of all yourself. Its hard to fight through what your brain is telling you TRUST ME. just look at my post I struggle with this crap every single day. What I do Is try to remind myself that things can always be worse and im a much better person than im giving myself credit for. If I was you id be trying to be excited about starting a new life and moving away. Id love to move away but cant cause im a parent. Dont let the fear run your life agian trust me. Ive let depression take to much from me so dont let it cause regrets.