Extreme anxious reaction to new relationship

Hi all,

Recently I got into a new relationship after 4 years. Things built up over a few months, I slowly fell for him etc.

But the past couple of weeks he's gone from being in touch every day to maybe once a day or 2 days if I'm lucky. He says he's been diagnosed with an infection affecting his liver and kidneys so sleeps a LOT. I've been supportive but family and friends have suggested it doesn't take that much effort for him to reply or send a text or 5 minute phone call. So now I'm worrying myself sick over the fact he may have lost interest. I explained to him how I was feeling and he apologised saying he assumed i knew how unwell he was. We saw each other last Friday and things felt pretty much the same. But yesterday we were back to radio silence. And I'm feeling ill and out of control.

This is like the anxiety which preceded my depression and it's a nightmare. I know it's ridiculous as we haven't even been together that long but I just don't know how to manage it :'( when we talk I feel relieved. When we don't I feel terrible. Everything has just changed abruptly and I don't know how to control or rationalise my behaviour.

If anyone has tips would be much appreciated. Sorry for the rant!

8 Replies

  • I'm thinking if you have explained how this is affecting your anxiety and he is still not responding to your text's or calls etc this could be an indication of a manipulative personality I'm probably wrong but please look up red flags of narcissistic personality disorder and see if any apply to him and trust your gut instinct :)

  • Hi I am sorry but it seems this could be his way of telling you either he really wants to be alone or he doesn't want this relationship anymore. To be honest I would try and accept this and get yourself out and about with your friends and try and forget him. Not easy I know. Whilst you are worrying yourself over him you are not seeing potential bf's out there who will treat you a lot better.

    At least it's better than what my nephew does. When he wants out of a relationship with a gf he sleeps with a friend of hers knowing that she will find out. He needs a good slap and to grow up! x

  • That's awful, hopefully he will learn one day how nasty that is :(

    I'm going to be careful. If he continually stops investing I will just cut my losses like you say. Thanks for the advice!

  • My sister despairs of him! Good for you x

  • Well I have now just been dumped by him. But at least I know now why my anxiety was triggered and that it is a warning sign.

  • We live and learn don't we. At least it means you haven't got to make the decision.Move on now and find someone who treats you a lot better as you deserve. Take care. x

  • Thank you very much for your kind words. Live and learn for sure x

  • Yeah it's all part of the rich tapestry (or should it be travesty?) of life. Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. x

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