Need Help....

[Gary21]

Me and my partner of 3 years have just split up. We both suffer from depression and I have not been the best partner to her. We used to be so happy and since the start of 2017, I have not tried to be there for her.

I now know the mistakes that I have made however she wants some time alone. My depression has got worse and i can't get things out of my head.

What can i do? I've told her how i feel and she just needs time, there's not a single second where she is off of my mind. We still love each other and I know its worth saving.

Any advise?

[daveeb]

Sorry about that mate. I had the same happen 9 years ago, after 20 years of marriage and 2 kids. I can say that it was both of us to blame and after some time I gave up trying. We divorced and now I don't see her or the kids, which hurts most . Don't give up, if anything give into her demands and cross fingers you can work things out. Good luck. Dave

[Gary21 in reply to daveeb]

Thanks Dave. I just want to make things work!

[Hidden in reply to Gary21]

Hi I would just give her the space she needs but do let her know you are there for her. Hopefully time will sort things out and maybe you will get together again one day.

If you do have children it's very important you stay in contact with them, and contribute financially to their well being. Children miss their father and it can have a negative effect on their lives. x

[Gary21 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Lilacil, So hard not messaging her or going to see her. We met up the other night and it's killing me.

I will give her the space she needs, she can then decide what she wants to do.

Appreciate it x

[Hidden in reply to Gary21]

Yes I get that. I think many people in your situation overwhelm the other person with their own needs so space is the most important thing. Just tell yourself you are both having a little break from each other. Are you both having any treatment for your depression and is it helping? x

[Gary21 in reply to Hidden]

I know, none of us are having any treatment. I think we were both scared to tell each other about our depression but I never comforted her when she needed it.

Makes me feel awful.

Im going to see my GP as soon as i can to sort myself out. x

[Hidden in reply to Gary21]

Don't be too hard on yourself Gary as depression can make you very selfish and self absorbed. The same goes for her as well.

It's great that you are going to seek treatment and I really hope it helps you. Counselling especially is a good way to go. x

[Gary21 in reply to Hidden]

I agree, I don't want any tablets. I would rather talk about my issues.

I hope we both get well and ill pray that we sort things out.

I know we still love each other, just a waiting game x

[Hidden]

Gary

You need to discuss your Depression with your GP. Also I would suggest you try and arrange help for both of you together and talk out both of your mental health problems.

You could try Marriage Guidance, you do not need to be married to make an appointment. they are there for relationship problems associated with couples in a meaningful relationship. Have words see how she feels regarding above.

You could also explain to her regards mood and explain you do not wish too loose Her

BOB.

[Gary21 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much, we saw eachother at the weekend and have just started talking again.

I've booked a night away in Nottingham and she's trying to get the time off work. I will speak to her about your advice and see what she says.

Thanks,

Gary

[Hidden]

Good Luck with that Gary

BOB