This is my first post finding this site... I've suffered from depression for 2 years since the breakdown of my marriage, my choice, we are both good with each other but somehow I slipped into depression. My meds have been going up since I first started so I made some big decisions and moved 250 miles back to family with my 2 kids and start fresh. On the outside everything is great, on the inside things are just feeling worse. I've made a good decision I feel I'm in a lovely house, kids are doing amazing with new school and friends, I have a less demanding job but I think what's hurting is the loneliness. I don't feel I can be myself with anyone. No one understands depression and cos they are all family they all want to help but can't. My mum found me laying in a ball on the floor hysterical crying hurting myself with the closest thing which was a screw and then I think she realised the truth. It's not just being in tears more often it's a total brain mess. I've had to seek help online and called the samaritans to know that this is all ok and I'm going to be ok. After my mum found me like that I was dragged to the doctors and my meds are on the highest they can go along with another tablet to take twice a day and I'm being referred for therapy. I just want to feel like I am getting better but it's just getting worse. Even suffering panic attacks only just within the last few months.
When will I ever feel better?