Has anyone ever felt like they're almost a completely different person because of their mental illness.

[daveets4]

Do you ever look back to your old self, and even if it's to a time that wasn't terribly great, but it was still better than now? Like you have become a shell of your former self. And you wish more than anything to get back to being the person you were? A person who wasn't so scared all the time, or frustrated and easily irritated. When you had your anger and depressing thoughts in check. Does anyone feel like this has changed who they are? And is afraid that you won't be able to be the person you were before ever again. What do you do when you feel as though you've lost yourself and you don't like what anxiety and depression has made you into. I don't want to be this way anymore, I don't want to be so negative and upset all the time. I want to feel like me again; the real me. How do you cope with the fact that you might stay changed forever? Ever question who you are anymore, because I do, constantly. And I hate it. My disorder has caused me to lose so much already, including losing sight of who I truly am. How do you fight back to something like that?

[Hidden]

Hi no I don't because I don't remember a time I wasn't depressed and have been since childhood. I started to uncover the real me in my 20's but feel there is a limit to how far I can go as it has become so much part of my personality I am not always sure what's real and what's not. My goal has and is to become the person I think I should have been without my depression and that's much harder I think coz I have no starting point.

What I will say is that you do change over time anyway - everyone does and these changes are a natural part of life affecting everyone whether they suffer from depression or not. We all have things happen to us in life whether they be positive or negative and our personality and life is changing and growing all the time coz nothing in the universe is static. Change is an integral part of life.

I do understand your point though. x

[Nesie237 in reply to Hidden]

I agree with coughalot. There is not a time, probably since childhood, that I didn't feel like this. I so wish I didn't feel depressed so much of the time (I'm bipolar), but so far wishing hasn't gotten me far. I hope you have a better time of it, though. 🤓Nesie 237

[sweetiepye]

Hello, I have changed,but my core personality has not. Some changes are from panic and anxiety and some are normal growth changes that happen because you're trying to be a better person. When I was in the beginning of anxiety I didn't know what was happening to me but I couldn't lead my life, my places of safety kept getting smaller , I was becoming totally dependent on my husband. Then one day I became so angry because I couldn't do anything or go anywhere and I made a decision to take my life back. Every day I had to go somewhere and if I panicked I had to keep on going sometimes I would have several episodes before I got home. It started to get easier so I saw a gp and he recommended counseling and the counselor recommended anti depressants. I was about 1/2 way there. I went back to college and was able to work part time. I did get my degree and had a job teaching before I graduated. Sometimes I would get that panicky feeling and I would sit on it right away. Now all of this was difficult but doable. You have to face the panic, let it go right through you and keep focused on whatever you're doing. Panic will not kill you, if you feel like you're getting out of control go to a rest room or your car till you're feeling better. So ,yes, I have changed. I feel I can do almost anything , I'm not afraid to try new things, and people don't intimidate me. I am kinder , more patient, I like myself now. There is no secret, you have to want it and work for it. FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT, Pam

[Smartbob1]

Love this. fake it till you make it, feel the fear and do it anyway. That is me at the moment. No more hiding inside a bottle.I still know my non depression personality and so do others. that is why they are so amazed at the change in me. My problem now is toxic shame caused by drinking to cope with depression not the depression itself. xxxxx

[Satsuma]

All I know is that I put on masks to hide it so yes in a sense I feel like I am two people

[Satsuma in reply to Satsuma]

I have hidden it many times due to not wanting to alarm people as I feared what they would think .. Now I am more aware not to hide it so therefore I feel the fear and do it anyway as Smartbob1 says above .. So what if they think I am mad .. I am what I am thanks to society.

[Smartbob1]

Yes, after years of being weak and letting my depression rule and ruin my life one way or another, I now aim to be as strong as I can be in all situations. xxxxx

[Cgo30]

I can defiantly relate to "looking back at a different person" ..... if I scroll bk through my fb, I can defo tell if I was up or down at the time of posting that 🙈😩other statuses.....I'm like "I remember writing that but that isn't atal what I think or feel, y would I write that 😭😭😭" x

[Hidden]

Personally I would prefer not to go back to the person I used to be. I hope that I have matured and moved on from my unhappy times.

With age becomes wisdom or so they say, I hope I have managed to move on to happier times and now I am more measured than what I was.

[WhiteAlice]

I've been better at times, worse at others. I used to be very ashaned to be sad and afraid. Today, I don't care so much. I do hide my anxieties and tears from anyone who I think might chastise me for it. It protects me, but angers me that any such people are in my life. My therapist once said I have Popeye Syndrome: "I ams what I ams." I'm flawed. SometimesI an horribly flawed. I like to think I'm a slightly more matured flawed woman. I try to do better. I try to do what is best for my own sanity and I try to be kind to others. I do miss my stronger self. She's in there. I'm just digging her out now. Don't pine too much for the past. Everyday can be new abd better for you. Talk to us. We'll help you through.