I tried!

[harv_singh]

I tired, no more fight left. Depression has destroyed my life and yet it wants more, I can't hide behind the facade anymore, it's too strong, too evil, to fight! I'm sick and tired of life being a battle, I want peace, damn it! I deserve it, 36 years of never fitting in, never finding my path, never finding a close circle of friends, never knowing how it feels to be truly happy. No more, no more will I fight, I'm spent!

This disgusting, insidious disease will never stop, never let me be happy and truth be told I'm done fighting it!

Who knows what lies beyond this life, but if I can just be free, I'll be happy. I hope you all find the strength to carry on, I really do.

Best wishes

Harv

[RyRywifey]

Hey, you have to love yourself enough to get thru this.. a lot of us are feeling the same as you, lots of people have no true friends and have not figured out what they want to do.. you are not alone. But the beauty of it is just think about what WOULD make you happy everyday waking up in the morning?? What is THAT thing?? THAT is what you should put your energy into.. a hobby, something you're passionate about.. give yourself that SELF love, and you will be surprised how it comes flowing in from others.. you have us here.. we may not know eachother personally but we all know things about eachother that even some of our family members don't know.. we have eachother to lean on.. please don't feel like you are alone Be sir that is FAR from the truth. Nothing is better than this life we're living, and guess what, it's getting longer and longer and longer everyday believe it or not.. stay tuned to all the miracles and blessings coming and live in the moment you know.. if u need to chat I'm here, we all are 😌 Big hugs to you 🤗🤗🤗🤗

[harv_singh in reply to RyRywifey]

I can't see or feel happiness anymore, it's so hard to get through a day, I just want feel true happiness, but like I said, I'm so soo tired of fighting! Appreciate your advice, but I've fought this battle too long and I'm done.

[RyRywifey in reply to harv_singh]

Try some more Harv.. do it for yourself, do it for me.. I'm rooting for you.. you are far too young, you can figure out anything you want to do.. you have to be STROOONG and PUSH YOURSELF. You have too!!! I felt exactly like you 2 years ago and I still struggle with anxiety but I am so happy I pushed thru because I am in a much better place now, and figured out what I love doing and am currently building on that. I want the same for you. You gotta be stronger than this love. You are built to conquer all. Ask, Believe, Achieve. You will surprise yourself. Once you've hit Rock bottom, there's nowhere to go but up.

[Hidden]

Talk to your GP and explain your unhappiness, ask for a double appointment and write a list regarding the unhappiness your Depression has caused, when you write everything down that will help you not forget anything, then your GP will be able to assess your condition.

You sound like you may need some instant advice, call NHS HELPLINE on Tel 111 and explain your mood and the possibility of you hurting yourself. They will Triage and send assistance if needed.

You need to be able to approach and learn how to control your Depression and there are coping techniques that may be able to help you, your GP will be able to wing you into the right direction

BOB

[RoboMark]

Hi Harv,

I am sorry you are feeling so bad right now, just remember that some days are worse than others. You are only 36 so you have plenty of time to sort yourself out. There is no law of nature that states we have a right to happiness, and life may not be much fun a lot of the time, but this life is the only one we have. As for friends, well I don't have any and spend most of my days on a computer or watching TV. Funny, that's not a problem for me - I don't think there's anything wrong with being yourself and not hanging around with other people all the time.

The think that keeps me going is outdoor exercise, running is good - if you can do it, and if you want some company, try a Park Run - there's bound to be one near you. You can walk it if you want to. That's how I started, and now I can run 20 miles when I feel like it - and I'm 52.

I'm going to quote from one of your previous posts:

'my mum is all I have and if anything happened to her I couldn't go on.'

So how do you think she'd feel if you weren't there? Take Bob's advice, GET SOME HELP.

Stay strong.

Mark.

[Hidden]

I felt like this only a few months ago but am so glad it didn't work and I am alive now. even when it feels like its been going on for ages and nothing will ever change it still can. you never know when that change will happen. its really tough fighting it, and im not going to lie even now I still have down days, but you have to keep going.

lots of people are out there to help you. us. your gp, a&e staff and your local iapt/ cmht. please do get help. make that first step and tell someone how you are feeling. you are worth it.

keep talking to us on here and letting us know how you are doing. there is normally someone on here day and night x