I feel nothing...

[Black_narwhale]

Hello!

I'm new here and really hope that I can get an advice here and help someone as well.

I don't know what's going on with me. For more than a year 99% of time I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. Almost nothing gives me emotions. I'm 23 y.o. and as far as I can remember myself I always was feeling anxiety, fear, self hatred, but also I always wanted to change something, to make my dreams come true. As I was growing up I managed to hate myself less, managed to get deal with my appearance and respect myself. But even self hatred was better than the way I feel now. When I look at myself in the mirror I feel nothing. It feels like I look at a random unfamiliar face. And that's the way I feel about everything. I try to pretend to be a cheerful person at work, try to pretend that I care for my job, but honestly I don't. I was study hard to get my dream job but now it doesn't make me happy.

A year ago my close relative who raised me, passed away. I used to grieve, although we didn't get along very well, but now I also don't feel anything about this person. I closed the door to her room and never open it. My parents don't care about me (although for some reason one of them sometimes tries to make me feel miserable, writing me rude messages, but I haven't seen this parent for 20 years or so). My friends live in other countries and have their own lives. I tried to tell about the way I feel once and heard something like :"just cheer up".

The worst thing is that I start to feel okey now about being alone. I start to think that I will never meet new people, find a boyfriend and I don't feel sad about it, although the whole life I was dreaming about finding my soulmate. I don't even think about going somewhere even when I have an opportunity. Sometimes I can even not notice that it is very messy in my apartment for a week or so. And I used to be almost obsessed with cleaning! I'm afraid it has nothing to do with laziness. I just don't want to do anything...

Have anybody faced this problem? Does anybody know how to overcome this emotionless? PS. I'm sorry for my English

[shoppaholicsue]

Hi,

I would say that you are severely depressed. You go from feeling down / angry / upset or whatever your depressed state makes you feel - to this - nothing at all. You can't feel happy about things, particularly annoyed - you just feel no real emotion at all. Its your bodies way of coping with all the emotions of the past. Go to your doctor's. Talk to him/her about things. S/He should prescribe some antidepressants to help you through this.

I was starting to feel the way you are and I was prescribed some antidepressants but i was not on them long before I could manage to help myself more.

Please, always come to this forum if you need us. I hope you are soon feeling on top of the world.

Sue