I've planned my suicide for th...

[ashley2017x]

I've planned my suicide for the last three weeks. I'm scared and tired now. Why can't I just better

[Phoebe2009]

Try and talked to someone no matter how depressed you are, please don't think about suicide

[ashley2017x in reply to Phoebe2009]

I've tried I can't

Seem to get better. If anything worse. I don't know what to do anymore with life in general.

[Phoebe2009 in reply to ashley2017x]

I do understand how you feel, I've thought about suicide, but I know I would not do that, as I have children, am really depressed, but I've started walking lately it's really helping me, do you have children? X

[Clazzy78 in reply to Phoebe2009]

I agree about walking. Walking anywhere. I often walk to town or bus it to town and walk back.

Why can't you talk to anyone about it? What stops you?

Please don't act on your thoughts. You will be missed.

Talk to us, best wishes 💗

[Hidden]

Ashley

I do not know you, all I can advise is you either talk to your GP or CPN if you have one.

You can also contact NHS Health Information Line on Tel 111. They can help.

About a decade ago I tried to end my life and failed. All I did was upset my Wife and Family and now I understand if I had managed to take my life it would have destroyed many who know me. The Pain of been brought back from near death is not very good and can be painful, the attitude of the Health Professionals is not what you expect.

If you are scared and tired, good. Look for help, I personally now understand the damage I would have caused and the changes from that time in my life.

Get help, if you wish someone on site to talk to you Private Message them and talk out your problems. No-one is brave doing or considering the end. Be brave look for help from above here and make positive changes with direction

BOB

[RoboMark]

Don't give up. Just because you have dark thoughts about ending your life doesn't mean you have to act upon them. Speak to your GP and see what help is available, if you are unsure about this then the NHS web site has some good information about getting help when you feel this bad.

Life is a battle you can only lose once. Keep fighting.

[Hidden]

Hello Ashley, suicidal thoughts can be so so frightening. Are you able to speak to the Samaritans? All contact is anonymous and non-judgemental. They are excellent, I have used them when I have been at my lowest. Would it help to write down how you are feeling and why - the act of writing may help. I hope you can summon up the courage and talk to your GP. They will have had experience of suicidal thoughts/plans from other patients. A GP will try and reassure you, maybe change or increase any medication and hopefully arrange follow-up appointments. Are you able to write down how you are feeling and take this with you. Is there a friend/family member or neighbour that can go with you to offer support? Be as kind to yourself as you can be. Take care Ashley, I am thinking about you, good luck.

[Gambit62]

ashley2017 - this post may help you understand a bit what is going on with the constant thoughts and help you find a way of overcoming them.

healthunlocked.com/couchtob...

big hug - been where you are and it is horrible but it is possible to get better.

[CJ2016]

After seeing first hand what suicide does to a family,i would highly suggest what all the others have,talk to someone,my cousin killed him self in 2013,and that kind of put me off taking my own life,i have had that same thought since i was 13,so much so i never planned for a future,my ideal situation was to join the military,get sent to some war zone and die,that was my ideal scenario.Since then i have had regular thought's on what method i would take to end it,i could just be standing in work and look at something and the thought would pop into my head.

However i am still here,but anyway back on topic,seeing my auntie and uncle go through what they went through,i wouldn't be able to put my family through that,granted right now the world seem's like the darkest of places,and the glimmer of hope fades each day,but the most tiny of light's can be as bright as the sun in the darkest of places.

At times you just have to live by day rather then by days and weeks,just take each day as its own,but like everyone has said talk to someone,seek that help,do something that i have never done,(it may be hypocritical of me saying all of this),but still two wrongs dont make a right as they say. Good Luck.

[ashley2017x]

I've tried the doctors the tablets the counselling I honestly feel like I have nothing else to do. I have tried talking to people I'm starting to feel like the depressed burden to them now. I'm making them feel down being around me.

[ashley2017x]

I can't seem to just get on won't live. I've moved from my first fanily home to a village where ive never lived.

split up with my daughters father and feel like I have no roots nor anyone to turn to. I'm waking up crying till I go to sleep.

[ashley2017x]

The father isn't helping me. gives me mixed signals and makes my emotions all over but says he wants nothing to do with me. It's just constant drama somewhere.

[ashley2017x]

I don't think I will ever et back to my normal self anymore I thought I was stronger than all of this but I'm honestly not. Not even for my little girl :(.

[ashley2017x]

She's seen me upset daily it's not fair anymore. Am just totally and utterly fed up . A don't no what to do anymore 😭😭😭😭

[2670 in reply to ashley2017x]

Dear Heavenly Father. I come before you now. Standing in the gap for my sister who suffers so much as I have. Holy Spirit. I ask for comfort right now in this pain. The feeling of being a failure. And not seeing ourselves as you do. Your children. You love us father and I ask that you show your precious daughter through your word the bible how loved she is. I pray that the lie she is believing and keeping her in this dark place will leave her and that she will first accept your light. And then share that light with her baby. That her little girl will be blessed all the days of her life and look at her mother with pride and call her blessed. The guilt of separation. The guilt of making decisions that might have hurt people. God we give that guilt to you. Guide her to the way she needs to speak to the people in her life to apologize. And To accept apology from those who have hurt her. There is no condemnation from you Jesus. You are love. Nothing can separate her from your love. And in your word you tell us that we are to forgive others as you forgave us and love . You say that if we love others and do for them then we have also done this for you. God. Your word is full of so much love and so many word of encouragement for us that are lost in pain. Pain we cause our selves and from others. Help us to forgive. And love. And to look to you in our struggle. And to help others that struggle . In your precious name Jesus. Amen. I love you. I love your daughter. I have been there. I love you. Your life is worth something to me. And you will be ok. I say with confidence. You and your daughter will be ok.

[NFDK in reply to ashley2017x]

Ashley, you WILL come through this. Your little girl needs her Mum. You may think that you're of no use at the moment, but she will need you for all of her life. I am sending you so much love and understanding. I have become depressed in the last few days. I never thought it would happen, as I have been trying so hard to maintain a positive attitude. However, I have an incurable constant pain condition and things just seem bleak right now. I told my son last night not to worry, though, as "I always bounce back" and I know that I will. You will too. Love, Wendy x

[Grace7234]

You will get better!!! Please, please Do Not do this!! I tired to end my life years ago and am so very thankful I failed!! Since that time I marrried a fantastic man, had 2 children, adopted an adorable dog who is my best friend and have a dream job teaching disabled students. And most importantly I found God and have a strong and loving relationship with Him! Because of Bipolar Disorder I still sometimes think of suicide but I know I will never act on it. I promise you your thoughts and life will get better!!! Please do not act on these thoughts.

My brother in law took his life and his parents and 3 daughters are shattered!! His one daughter just got married and she was crying at her wedding because her Daddy wasn't there. The people in your life will never get over your death. You just can't do this to yourself or your family and friends!!!

I have come to realize that suicide is a selfish act because you inflict so much pain on others. Get help immediately!! Here are things I have done to help:

1. Pray to God and ask Him for help. He always listens and will comfort you and send help! Read the Bible or inspirational materials-positive self help books.

2. Go out side and exercise: walk, jog, ride a bike-connecting with the beauty of nature, trees, sky, clouds, flowers, birds and animals will make you feel better. Focus on these things while you exercise outside.

3. Talk to a friend. therapist anyone who cares.

4. Get a dog if you don't have one. My dog gives me so much love and licks my tears when I'm sad and loves to play and makes me so very happy!

5. Distract yourself: read a book or magazine. Watch a funny movie, listen to uplifting music, paint, or play music if you can.

6. Pamper yourself. Get a massage or mani/pedi, go to the hair stylist and get a hair cut, color and styled. Get a facial. Take a bubble bath. Go shopping. You don't have to spend much, just a new pretty outfit.

7. If you are on meds that have a side effect of suicide-safely GET OFF of these meds! We are convinced that my brother in law committed suicide because his doctor put him on new meds which made him so much worse that along with other factors he ended his life!! So call your doctor, tell him you want to safely get off these meds if it lists suicide as a side effect.

I am praying for you. 🙏🙏🙏 Please, please do not act on your thoughts. Follow some of the above suggestions. Just know that I care about and love you 😘😍❤️💕❤️and so does the One who created you. Let me know how you are doing . Hang on I promise it will get better!!!❣️❣️❣️

[2670 in reply to Grace7234]

Amen . I didn't even read this till I put up my reply. And immediately saw this after hitting the submit reply button. Wow. Love u for that. So happy for you. Happy to see you chose to use your past to heal others. More n more my hope in humanity is being restored. We owe it to God. All the glory to God. Thank you for inspiring me even more to spread the word . I was starting to feel alone in it. 🙏🏼❤️🎶😊

[WhiteAlice]

Ashley, I understand that you feel like you have no anchor and might float away in this ocean if life. The man in your life is uncaring. You are somewhere new. We all need to feel like we have a home: somewhere familiar we can return to; someone familar we can turn to. You seem to have lost that. I have been there. Hold on, please, because YOU are the anchor. You are home. And to your child, you are home. You ache with unbearable pain right now. It will subside. Until then, breathe. We are here for you. I've gotten myself into another painful position. I do understand, but I want you to live. I want to hear more about your situation. Please, find help, but stay & talk to us.

[4oldnan]

Oh my dear , hang in there please! Most of us have been down that road in our lifetime. I am now 80 and must face my husband of 84 wants a sudden annulment and I am completely floored! I can only say it is like being that person in the painting of The Scream ! I have thought of ending it all too but am a coward and can't chose which way or how etc! Have known a few suiciders in my life and believe you me ,if you go through with it, you take part of those we know,if not love, with you forever. Cry as much as you need to my dear. You just lack a lot of TLC . You are worth it you know! However life has kicked you around, if I were with you, I would hold you tight and tell you in the end it will all work itself out. We are ready to listen so pour it out . Nobody will judge you! You are You ! Nobody in the world is like you! Treat yourself as if you were your own best friend and give yourself plenty time! God Bless !

[Hidden]

Ashley, it sounds like you have had some major changes in your life recently (house move, relationship breakdown). It takes time to 'adjust' to these changes.

Please try to return to your GP. I am sure there will be medication that does help but it can take a while to find the right one. Try not to give up and take care. Thinking of you.

[ashley2017x]

I've been to the doctors and been prescribed some tablets so that's a start. Still not focuses on our new house. I blocked him from yesterday and he's been in touch with my family regarding our girl and asking how I am etc

[cjayuk88 in reply to ashley2017x]

Hi Ashley2017

Only last year I was in a similar situation to you, relationship breakdown , mixed signals and wanting to end it all. Id drive to the seafront every night wanting to throw myself in the sea, I'd cry from morning till night too. I wasn't good at talking or opening up either. Gradually but slowly I decided that nothing or nobody was worth losing my life over, no matter how hard things were, my three girls deserved better, and no way was I gonna push up those daisies just yet and let someone else bring my three up.

By and by I came through this.

Fast forward one year and I work hard, keep busy and live for the moment, I imagine myself wearing some crown and I refuse to let it slip. I do reflect occasionally on what happened, but I wouldn't ever go back to that once dark place ever. I look at it as it's a life lesson and it's taught me some valuable things to keep in mind.

1 being I have a right to a life too

2 learn from the past

3 keep moving forward

I know it's tough for you but if I can oversee the hurt and pain and believe me it hurts daily, I'm sure with time you'll get to a good point in life too. Don't give anyone the power to destroy you,

You hang on to that power and use it to take good care of yourself and your girl. xx

[ashley2017x]

Mixed comments saying he missed me but can't have our relationship anymore. I failed and unblocked him and he's rang and I'm back to square one says he won't get back on touch now. I honestly don't know how to get over this as pathetic as it sounds it's so

[cjayuk88 in reply to ashley2017x]

I too had contact one day, no contact the next day, my emotions were a mess, he told my girls he loves me dearly, but can't come home, it's hard. I cried a million tears while he's was off some place on his jollies. Put that block on your phone, do not listen to anyone carrying messages and be your own main focus and your daughters for now. When you find strength then you can handle situations better with a clearer mind and a strong focus. xx

[ashley2017x]

Hard waking up thinking about us crying going to sleep thinking about us crying and he doesn't care at all. Why say things to my sister like he loves me and hates seeing me like this but can't be with me. Why get in touch?

[ashley2017x]

Why did I unblock him? I'm pathetic going on like this but I just can't adapt to these changes in my life. My daughter asks to go home :(. How do I get better I feel so lonely and a burden in everyone's life.

[ashley2017x]

Why am I so bad? How can I get better to prove I'm not a bad person. How do you just get up and move on? I can't in trying but I can't. I make myself sick by some of the things I think. Is this even normal?

[ashley2017x]

Am I normal. I just want to be me again.