Plans for suicide but no further

[William3747]

To be clear from the 1st sentence I will not kill myself. However I keep planning and day dreaming about how I would do it and also what it would be like during the act. I sometimes look at lorry’s going in the opposite direction and day dream about going into them or hanging once I have the noose around my neck. I suffer from anxiety more than depression so no this way of thinking is not good for me. My question is is this normal, do I need to see a dr and get on meds etc? Any advice please even if it’s not to worry about it thank you

[Hidden]

How many times a day, do you do this? You need to see GP or professional, first thing and priority. Most people are wishing, wanting or needing something. Shopping through amazon for motivational books is mine. Value and Goal making is what I do - to get through my depression. Otherwise google mindful mediation youtube or something of interest like funny videos. Choose life and to live it.

[Hidden]

Do not give up and fight for your rights and dreams!

[William3747]

Thanks for reply. A few times a day, weirdly it actually feels good thinking about it. I have tried everything from the dr apart from meds so not sure. I feel I won’t do it be feel it’s a friend

[Hidden]

I use to get weird nightmare that Satan would want the same and that he was stopping from living, working and doing anything I thought was positive - its not a good situation to be in - hope, dreams and desire to do well is what I concentrate on and I always try to pray to get me out of nightmare and hope for the future - no matter how small the hope is - always looking for ways to better myself and reach my goal which is to write a book for special needs, speech therapy and occupational therapy, the disabled

[Hidden]

You have to draw or write a journal and try to keep going and have a future you want, desire and need - to always be doing something - keep busy

[Hidden]

Let your creative powers out!

[hypercat54]

Hi this is suicide ideation and I suffer from it too. I use it very much as a comfort blanket. It is different from being actively suicidal but it does need attention, coz if you are anything like me events can push you dangerously close to the edge at times. I posted yesterday coz I am feeling bad right now and am trying to pull myself back.

People like us tend not to formulate suicide plans so much as put one we have previously considered into practice. I have found the medical profession don't really understand this and think if you haven't got a firm plan you are and less at risk. I think the opposite is truer. x

[William3747 in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you for the reply, yes comfort blanket ... it’s feels like exactly that.

[hypercat54 in reply to William3747]

This is what helps me and it might you as well:

1. The promise I made to myself many years ago many years ago to choose life, not death. This included doing everything I could to find a life which I find liveable, and recognising this is a lifelong task.

2. My stubbornness not to let life beat me or let others beat me into the ground.

3. When I feel very bad (this might sound strange but it works), I trawl the suicide sites looking for painless methods. When I realise there aren't any I have access to and have read a few stories I go right off the idea. x

[William3747 in reply to hypercat54]

I like the last one made me smile as I have been looking for a painless method for years

[hypercat54 in reply to William3747]

Yeah me too 😐x

[Kaytee1981 in reply to hypercat54]

I completely agree - no firm plans can leave you with second best I guess and that's not always the 'best' option- if that makes sense?

I hate it when they ask do you have plans? As if saying 'no' makes you any less likely to act on you suicidal thoughts.

[Delzek]

I honestly would talk to a Dr and if he offers medication, Accept! You don't have to use them yet but have them there for when it gets really bad! I have had and still get these feelings and yes it seems like a friend! It's not a friend eventually it will start eating at you until you get fed up and act on the feeling. I have been there as well William.

Can I ask if you have had a Very close family member who has gone through the same thing? Perhaps He/She took action on their feelings?

I just get a funny (Not ha ha feeling) when I read your post!

[William3747 in reply to Delzek]

Thank you for your reply, no, no close family member has done anything like this. I have tried before but I was very young (around 13) and then again at 20 but honestly do not believe I will do this again. But the day dreaming about it is very strange as it’s calms me. I even try and imagine the peace seconds before and after death. Possibly seeing the dr is the best way to go. Thank you

[Gambit62]

This post might help you understand what is going on and how you might work towards resolving the problem. It is very disturbing but it really isn't out of the ordinary.

healthunlocked.com/couchtob...

I have a friend who discribes an incident of thinking about jumping off a bridge after a very stressful event and he has no history of depression or anxiety at all

[William3747 in reply to Gambit62]

Very insightful thank you