I'm on maximum dose venlafaxine and clomipramine. The past few months I've felt like the usual darkness that suffocates and saturates me has begun to lift. Like smoke, drifting away. Only to reveal the ugliness that is reality. All the emptiness and fakness of people. No real connections to anything. The true exhausting effort it takes to fake a smile, to fake a caring look on your face during a conversation. I have begun to actually hear the words people are saying, to really hear them and it's vile. There is so much broken and negative surrounding me I can't begin to imagine fixing things. I'm not even sure I want to, I prefer the darkness if im honest. Please tell me that the darkness lifting is not a sign of recovery and that this world in front of me is not reality?