I have felt so low for the past week I have virtually stopped living. I am breathing, going to the toilet, remembering to drink water and from time to time I go into the kitchen and force myself to eat something. A bowl of cereal, a yoghurt. I sleep 12 hours a night (I'm o Zolpidem) then when I wake I try and cling onto sleep for as long as I can. I have to get up to feed my little cat Millie.
This is not living, I'm barely existing. My GP says hypothyroidism will give me bad mood spikes. The people on the thyroid support site tell me it takes a long time to get your thyroid levels up with the medication. My CPN is concerned because I am looking at various sites on the internet which are unhealthy.
I can't persuade myself to re engage with life again. I feel like all my friends and family have had enough of me.
I can't get out of bed I've spent 3 days this week not washing.
Antidepressants don't seem to work. Thyroid mess did for a while but now there army and I know I need an increase but the gps are very wary to take my levels up to quickly, so I continue on trying to stay alive. Even though I know I don't want to.
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Hattie194
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So sorry you're having such a tough time right now. I think you must be guided by your GP regarding your thyroid issue; am wondering if you could ask to see a Consultant about this, especially if it is having such an adverse affect on your health.
Your CPN can ask for you to be reassessed if the AD's are not efficient too.
Hattie, please take a shower, I guarantee you'll feel better for it and try to do one chore like changing your bedding. You can increase this by one extra chore each day.
Your little Millie needs you, she depends on you to take care of her, so please, as hard as it is, try for her sake.
keep Going hattie, i know you will as you have little millie to look after, the animals i'v had over the years are what always saved me at the end of the day as i knew they depended on me. you'v made a start re engaging with life again just by posting on here where you will recieve plenty support, that in its self will give you a little lift. i know it gave me one. i'v just spent the last few months in bed except to go for shopping just across the road and back to bed and posting on here, which i find a great help. yesterday i went out and went back to a place i used to go for support during the day as i had stopped going for 5 months. i felt so much better last night and slept for 6 hours. i know what you mean when you say you try to cling onto sleep for as long as you can. Try and have a shower as chloe40 has advised as you can add that to your achievements for the day. all those small steps make a difference. i have been on anti depressants and anit psychotics due to illness but the side effects were just to much for me as im getting older now at 66. currently im not on any anti 'd's . i use the support of the many inspiring people i have met on this website who have encouraged me and this moring i was up doing jane fondas work out, as encouraged by a great friend iv met on here. i cant believe the difference i feel since thursday when i was wishing i was dead and today feeling grateful and content. i read or heard somewhere this week that its not that we want to die we want the pain to end and for me this is true.your doing better than you think you are by eating cereal drinking and looking after your little cat and posting on here. it may take time for your thryroid medicine to kick in but it will. i like the name of your little cat. take good care now and dont give up. all my love. grace xoxoxo 😻
Thanks grace111, you're very kind and your reply was lovely. It renews my faith in human kindness. I sorry you are suffering too. It's such a retched illness. You take care of yourself, one day at a time
Hi Chinagirl, I belong to both sites as I have both illnesses. My struggle at the moment is trying to sort out which one is driving the other. Thanks for coming back x
Hello Hattie, sorry you're at a low ebb. Just hang in there, I'm sure your GPs are doing all they can to get your thyroid levels up to normal as soon as possible and you just have to have patience.
You also have to do your part , which no one else can do for you. I've been pretty depressed in my time but I really don't believe its impossible to get out of bed and get washed and freshened up. This might seem a small thing but its not as if one does n't do this one feels a lot worse and its the start of a slippery slope.
Antidepressants always take a while to become effective but they are not a magic pill that makes anyone feel really good , they just help a bit, or if you're lucky a lot. When I tell myself they are not working I also ask myself "How do you know?". Without taking them I might be feeling even worse.
As I say just hang in there , because you're doing this so that you once again enjoy life when your Thyroid is sorted and the depression passes.
Hello Hattie, fellow hypothyroid sufferer here, plus I have bipolar disorder and complex PTSD. I really do empathise with you, I remember so well how absolutely awful I felt before I was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid. I laid on my bed and just cried, and told my husband that I felt just so ill. All the physical symptoms you describe, yep had those, I couldn't - and I mean couldn't, get into the shower for months. It was just physically and mentally beyond me. I used to clean myself with baby wipes everyday, husband made sure I had clean jimjams every day. As for the mental symptoms, I have had severe depressive episodes in the past, needing to be treated by ect. The depression I felt with the underactive thyroid was worse.
Now the good news, it really does get better as you slowly increase the levothyroxine. My regime was 50 then 75 then 100 then 125 and finally 150. I started feeling better when I hit the 100's, it began with the lifting of the terrible brain fog. I would say after about three months I was functioning as normally as I ever do!! It does take time for the thyroxine levels to build up. The good news for me was also that I began to lose the weight I had put on both because of the medication I take, and because of the hypothyroidism. GP's do take it slow with increasing thyroxine, too much, too quickly can cause tremors, anxiety, agitation and can mimic the symptoms of some mental disorders. Slow and steady is the way to go. I just want to encourage you to hang on, keep taking the meds, it is going to get better, honest.
I hope this helps, take care, give your little Millie a snuggle, and remember cats love it when you spend all your time in bed. When I was in bed 23hours a day, I had 2 cats and a dog always with me, it was really crowded and we did have to have conversations about whose bed it was, but once I accepted that it was the cats we all got on fine!! 😜
I saw a lovely sign the other day which read that dogs are for people who want to be worshipped. Cats are for those who can cope with a cat sitting on your chest at 5 am demanding a sacrifice. I love dogs but am passionate about cats.
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