Feel like I'm stuck

Sorry, this may be a long one but I figured this is my best shot at getting some help...

I've experienced a lot of life changes over the last few months. I moved away from home where I started university, then developed a series of ongoing health issues, was struggling a lot academically, financially and socially due to me being a natural introvert suddenly in a highly extroverted social environment. I felt uncomfortable in my skin and lack confidence, so I constantly felt like I wanted to be alone where I wasn't being judged more than I judge myself. Then family issues escalated. All of these problems let to me having frequent panic attacks, constantly in a low mood, sleeping all the time and avoiding social contact where possible. I developed an anger that would explode wherever I felt uncomfortable, particularly in nightclubs (a regular occurrence as a uni student), which led to my friends feeling uncomfortable around me and concerned due to my anger and sadness often ruining what should have been fun experiences. All this combined, I decided to leave university as I was scared for my mental wellbeing. So, I moved back home. Unemployment, no career prospects and no experience, financially unstable, my friends still lived in another city and my family where treading on eggshells just to make sure they wouldn't say the wrong thing to make me break down further, as well as being further introverted and socially uncomfortable to the point where I no longer wanted to see anyone or leave the house. Fast forward to now - in the month that I've been living back at home I've connected a lot with spiritual healing techniques like meditation, natural healing remedies like homeopathy and aromatherapy to boost my mood. But I'll still find myself trapped in frequent feelings of worthlessness, a failure to my family and an unclear future - as well as the continuing health problems that have no apparent means to an end. I feel numb. I've cut off any romantic prospects as I've completely lost interest in connecting with society, developed a need to perfect the few things I have control of and can no longer stand to hear unnecessary noise along with the thoughts in my head. People talk too much and it exhausts me listening to meaningless conversations. I don't feel suicidal but I'm really struggling to see any way out of this dark period of my life. I know this post doesn't even begin to explain everything in my head, hence why it probably seems like I'm overthinking everything but I'm honestly exhausted from listening to the negativity in my head.

If anyone can relate and let me know how they have pulled through any dark times in their life, all advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

(Again, sorry for the long post. This is my introductory post)

5 Replies

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  • Hello there cab9,

    A very warm welcome to our friendly Forum.

    Your issues certainly seem to have developed since starting University and it is a major life changing event. The fact that you are a 'natural introvert' has deepened your anxieties I feel. Having been through so much, you have tried many self help remedies and there is no reason not to continue but I would now think about chatting with your doctor and discussing everything you have mentioned here and hopefully he will recommend talking therapies but whatever he recommends, please don't be afraid to ask all the questions you need to.

    You are very welcome here

    Chloe

  • Hello cab, that sounds pretty awful but you have two tremendous assets you should n't under rate. Firstly you're young and its not uncommon to make a false start at an early period of one's life and pull through it. Secondly you sound reasonably intelligent and are almost certainly capable of making some decisions to get to a better place. You're far too young to think you're a failure , your adult life has barely started.

    First positive thing you should do is to see a GP and explain totally honestly what has happened and where you feel you are now. There's quite a lot to explain and the average GP does n't have time to listen to a lot so type it on say a couple of pages of foolscap and if possible leave it with your GP to read and follow that up with a second appointment once he's read it. The odds are there is not a lot wrong with you except for making some bad decisions. I'm assuming your first year at Uni started in 2016. Many students hate university but leaving was probably not a good choice. It would have been far better to have discussed your problems with a University counsellor/tutor to discuss your options (changing course, deferring for a year etc). Secondly forget your hang up about being introverted. There are probably as many introverts as extroverts but unfortunately social media does not leave one with that impression. Forget it, and be as outgoing as you can manage.

    Assuming you are secure at home for a spell explain to your family fully what has gone on and that obviously drifting towards nothing at home is an unacceptable state of affairs for them and more importantly you. Use a bit of time to try and decide what you really want to do in life, mainly from a vocational point of view , and then start aiming whole heartedly towards achieving that. Discuss it with your family. You'll take a big load off their minds. Keep it realistic, becoming a brain surgeon is probably not an option, and neither is becoming an overvalued pampered celebrity. Once you have a target to aim at you'll find the process leads to new friends and many of your criticisms of yourself will evaporate. At your young age any realistic target based on your existing qualifications should be achievable.

    Finally a little introspection is good but exceed a little and you're playing with fire. None of this will be easy but as an old guy I can tell you that life being easy applies only to a very,very small percentage of people. I don't know how you found school but having left with the qualifications for a university place and friends it must have been a long way from a failure. You've just got to pick up that impetus again after a few months hiccup. A few months in a life time is nothing, especially for the young.

    I worked in a technical job after University and found in my opinion I could n't do it. I talked to my boss and he said "Oh, is that all, none of them can at first" I then found that having talked with my "counsellor", the boss, I could do it and had a successful career. So will you.

    Olderal

  • Thank you very much for your response, I'll definitely take on everything you've said and try to see the positives

  • Hey, this post really rang true to me. I'm not saying our situations are the same but I relate to wondering when this negative period will end. I've recently been very introverted so I understand the whole social dilemma.. I don't really have any advise because I still don't know what to do😂 just wanted you to know you're not alone in feeling the way you do

  • Ah thanks, it's nice to see someone else understands even though it's not nice to go through it. We'll pull through some day I'm sure 😂 hopefully

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