So lonely

[Millie_3]

its so hard to be able to enjoy my life at the moment my depression feels like it's getting worse. I feel so trapped I've been isolating myself from people I have no friends and because I moved out my house I feel like my family don't really care about me anymore. Even though I have a boyfriend so caring and loving i still feel lonely and sad everyday. i get so irritated and angry that I just want to smash the room up for no reason like Iv been trapped in a box and just want to break out of it. I try and do things but I seen to never stick to ot like loosing weight and going out doing things but for some reason there's something stopping me! Why am I like this? Why do I feel so angry and hopeless? I don't feel like I should be here I feel useless and a wast of time! It's like I'm loosing track of time and never going to be able to get out this trapped room full of hopeless and sat and anger

[Elsibells]

Things do get easier I promise. Take one little bit at a time. I feel like isolating myself at the moment too - and who would want to be around someone as miserable as me anyway?! My family and friends all have their own lives, so I guess it's time to think about myself and getting myself well.

Today I reluctantly got up, got showered, got dressed and went for a 20 minute walk. I think staying in is driving me crazy - maybe it's doing the same to you too? I think I need more vitamin D so I'm going to see about a supliment as well as talking time and exercise outside every day. Last week I changed the antidepressant I'm on and started seeing a therapist. These are all little steps and I've still had a mixed weekend, but I've gotta do something.

Put a plan together that you think will begin to help you. Forget about weight loss at the mo. Think about healthy nourishing food that is packed full of the stuff that's gonna make you feel better. Are you taking medication for depression, is it the right one? Maybe talk to your GP about changing it?

I hope things begin to change soon for you, as it sounds like you need a break.

X

[Millie_3 in reply to Elsibells]

Yeah I'm taking antidepressants everyday I've tryed talking to a professional however I couldn't talk about anything as i just couldn't I got diagnosed with depression at 14 now I'm nearly 17 I just feel like nothing is going to work feel as if I'm never going to be able to be a normal person again! I want to be a tattooist but how can I when I can't even hold a normal conversation with people as I don't want to sound like an idiot it's horrible living like this it's like I have to play by depressions rules!

[spykey]

Hi Millie

Sorry to hear your feeling low! I'm sorry to hear what has been going on for you over the last few months, it seems to have been a Really tough time for you!

Ok first take a deep breath in & out! You are an OK person, I Believe in You & that You Will get through this difficult time! And You are allowed to Believe in You too! Can I ask are you at college, working or at school? Sorry to ask questions it helps us to get to know you and where you're coming from a little better !

I'm Sorry you've had a Lot to deal with over the last few months & I can understand that you want to scream, shout & smash things up! It Doesn't mean I think you should smash things up! But Scream & Shouting can help at times & can help get rid of some angry pent up frustration inside & the internal anger that you are feeling! I've been told it's good & healthy to let it all out! As Anger builds, and builds up it can be negative & unhealthy & cause you & your inside you harm & can make you ill!! So go for it!! Let it Out!!

It's great that you've got a supportive boyfriend who loves & supports you! Might be an idea to tell him what's going on before you start screaming though, so he knows it's not him you are shouting at!! Find a pillow or cushions to hit, or find a field or maybe the beach to scream in or warn the neighbours so they don't panic & think something's wrong!!

I understand why you don't want to mix with your old friends, do you live with or have any other family members? Or have contact with them or support from them? I know you said you feel like the black sheep of the family!!

I would love to wave a magic wand & make everything better for you! Do you have any support workers or other support working with you? I notice you said you stay inside most of the time & don't go out for weeks! It would be really good even if it's just down the road & back for you to go out at least twice or three times a week even if you are completely wrapped up to get a change of air & to get some Vitamin D might help lift the heavy fog that has descended upon you!!

Life is a risk & taking a risk every day helps the body cope, keeps our actions & reactions & body healthy!

Go for it Millie Let & Get All your Anger, Frustration & Negativity Out!

Good Luck! Wishing You Warm Wishes & A Hug! 🤗

Take Care spykey

[Millie_3 in reply to spykey]

Thank you for you replys I appreciate it and no I left my sixth form and moved way to my bf and no I have no other support really my family is always there for me and I'll try what you said thank you

[Elsibells]

Hi Millie, I totally get where you're coming from. I started to have counselling at 14 - I turn 40 this year and am still having it! All I can assure you is that things will get better. You've got a lot going on for you at the moment so give yourself a break. Follow your dreams and become the person you want to be. My teenage years were hell, my 20s were a mixed bag and my 30s have generally been much better - apart from now of course, but I put that down to becoming a mum - that really mixes things up again! Have faith and things will come good again. I can assure you there is nothing wrong with you x

[Millie_3 in reply to Elsibells]

Thank you it's nice to know I'm not the only one that feels like this and that it can be over come

[Elsibells in reply to Millie_3]

Of course it can and we are all here for you so don't panic x